


What You Saw In Me (Virgil Sanders x Reader) (On Hiatus)

by RavenWolfblood



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (Possibly more BDSM Kinks but not sure yet), Bondage, Brat (Bratty Submissive), Dom/sub, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Heavy BDSM, Light BDSM, Light Smut, M/M, Other, Rope Bondage, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Switch (Switches between Dom/Sub), degradation kink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2020-10-19 16:50:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 23,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20660519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenWolfblood/pseuds/RavenWolfblood
Summary: You have been best friends with Thomas Sanders since you were kids. Now, both of you are adults, YouTubers, and live together. Recently you have been noticing others that look like Thomas..soon you find that they are his Sides, and everything is well. Until you meet a certain purple and black clad Side who takes an interest in you...I do not own Sanders Sides, or anything affiliated with Thomas Sanders and SS. This is only a work of creative fan fiction I wished to write, I hope everyone who stops by enjoys my writing. And if not, any criticism is greatly appreciated! But no derogatory, offensive, or abusive comments, please, that will not be tolerated.WARNING- Will include BDSM, panic attacks, depression, discussion of depression, self harm and discussion of self harm, with possible suicidal thoughts and ideation.EDIT: The Reader in this fanfiction is AFAB, which means Assigned Female At Birth, but is a Genderfluid character, so there will be a good deal of gender dysphoria, especially in chapter 19, when I reveal that the Reader character is Genderfluid. I wished to warn any readers about this because I am Genderfluid myself and only realized this recently, but I hope you enjoy regardless.





	1. Chapter 1: Living With Thomas

I sigh as I get out of my car, looking at Thomas's house. So this is where he lives. Hmm, it suits him. 

I open up my trunk and start pulling out boxes, when I see a figure run towards me. "(Y/N)!!!" 

I hear Thomas yell as he engulfs me in a hug and spins me around. "Thomas!!" 

I laugh at his antics. "Put me down!!" "Fine, fine, but let me unload these boxes for you."

"Oh that would be great, thank you!"

Time Skip

I look about my room, content. I have my recording equipment with my computer in the corner, two black bookshelves, a stereo where I had all of my music, mainly things from the emo and hard rock genre, and my bed, with a black comforter, dark blue sheets and pillows, and a warm grey blanket. 

I grab my grey hoodie from my door, shrug it on, and walk downstairs to where Thomas was, in the living room.

I sit down on the couch as Thomas turns to me. 

"So, to commemorate your living with me, I got us some Kraft mac n' cheese, the good brownies that you love, and, we get to watch a movie of your choosing. So, what'll it be?" 

"Hmm...Corpse Bride, obviously." "Ha, knew you were gonna say that." 

Thomas pops in the movie as we start to eat, and before I know it, I've fallen asleep. 

Time Skip

I soon wake up to rumagging around in the kitchen. I sit up, noticing a blanket was put over me. 

Aw, Thomas. You've always been a sweet one. I walk into the kitchen, seeing someone who looks like Thomas. 

"Thomas...?" I yawn as I rub my face a bit, tilting my head. 

"Aw, hey kiddo! Wow, you look a lot like Vir-" "Now Patton, what did I say? She doesn't know we exist yet." 

I look confusedly from one man, who appears to be a dad with a cardigan tied around his shoulders, and the other, wearing a dark polo shirt with an emotionless face. 

"Ah, my apologies. I neglected to introduce myself. I am Logan, Thomas's Logic, and-" 

"I am Roman!!" I hear someone loudly exclaim from behind me, bowing.

He appeared to be a...prince...? "And who might you be, fair maiden?" 

I slowly backed away into the living room. "...Thomas...!!!" 

"(Y/N)? What's- oh. Come on, (Y/N/N), it looks like I have some explaining to do."


	2. Chapter 2: They're Your What?!

"Alright, so, let me get this straight. The dad looking one, is Patton, your...morality, the robot man is Logan, your logic, and the...golden prince man is Roman, your creativity...?"

"I wouldn't exactly put it that way but, yes." Logan said, pushing up his glasses. 

"Aww kiddo! She's so cute and dark! I just wanna smother you with hugs! Come here you!!" Patton starts towards me as I look to Thomas.

"Uhhh...Thomas...? What..do I do...?" 

"Just let him hug you, (Y/N/N). Unless you want him to chase after you for a whole hour..." 

Thomas sighs, running a hand over his face. "Right...." 

The way he says it, it sounds like it's happened before..hmm...but I know Joan, they're usually very into cuddles...I shrug as I step towards Patton, letting him engulf me. 

"Oh. My. Goodness! I could just hug you all day!!!"

Patton squeals, as I just kind of droop into his hold, swatting at his arm. 

This causes Patton to squeal further, and hug me tighter. 

"She even reacts exactly like Virgil!!! Awww you cute kitten you!!"

"Uhhh...who's Virgil...?" I ask, my voice muffled, as my face is squished into Patton's shoulder. 

"Ah. He's...well. He's kind of my anxiety...?" Thomas awkwardly rubs the back of his neck, scrunching his face.

"Kind of? Ha, that's an understatement." 

I look up at the new voice, this one lower and more gravelly than the rest.

In front of me on top of the kitchen counter sits a boy clad in an oversized black and purple hoodie, smudged eyeliner on his lower lids, and an air of 'I will fuck with you if provoked', and he appeared to be eating a bowl of...instant ramen..? At 6 am...? 

"Patton, can you let go of me please?" "Ah, sure kiddo!" 

Patton lets go of me as I pull my hoodie sleeve back up my shoulder and straighten my black glasses.

"So, you're Virgil, huh? Well aren't you a cute emo nightmare?"

I smirk at the boy as he glares at me. "Oh, sweetheart, I don't think so. In no way, am I cute." 

"Mm, mhm. Sure. Well, I'm going to shower, see you boys!" I walk up the stairs, exiting the room. 

POV Change- Virgil

Just who does she think she is? Cute emo nightmare? What the fuck does that even mean? I glare at Thomas. 

"That, is your rommate?" "What? She's basically you!! I thought you'd get along with her!" "Yeah, that's the problem..." I mumble.

"I'm going to my room." I sink down, heading into my room. This, is not good. 

She can't get close to me. No matter how much I might want it. 

I pull my hood over my face and sink to the floor, putting my headphones on. 

I don't want to hurt anyone, especially when I lash out. I sigh, running a hand through my hair. 


	3. Chapter 3: I Am No Kitten!

POV- Reader

I go into my room, rubbing my hair with my towel as I head towards my computer and recording equipment.

"Time to record another video!" I say to no one in particular. 

I turn on my camera, mic, and monitor as I set everything up. 

I decide going for another let's play video, this time for the Undertale franchise.

I'd already recorded videos for this game, but I kept getting stuck on the Mega Flowey boss battle. I sigh, sit at my desk, and hit record. 

Time Skip

I lean back in my chair, studying my video content. "So, you having trouble?"

I jump and turn around, seeing Virgil leaning against my bedroom door. 

"I don't see how you could help. You don't know how to edit video footage, do you?" 

"Actually, princess, I do. You have a problem with your audio." "What?" Virgil stalks over to me and leans over my shoulder. 

"Here." He points to the screen. "Move over." 

He all but practically sits on top of me as he edits the video to fix the audio. "There. Should be good now." 

I click on the video to see if he fixed it, and it did. "Well, thank you." 

He nods towards me and flops on my bed, putting his headphones on, and curls up. 

"H-hey! I didn't tell you you could- V-Virgil!" I walk over to him, pushing on his shoulder. 

He cracks open an eye and looks up at me. 

"What, you want me to get up? I don't think so." "And why not?" 

I crross my arms and glare at him. "Because, kitten, your bed is soft. And comfortable." 

"I am no kitten!" Virgil shifts onto his back, looks up at me, and smirks. 

"Yes, you are." I scoff and roll my eyes. "And why is that?" 

"Because, kitten, I said so." His smirk grows as he watches me. 

I shake my head and push my hoodie sleeves up to my elbows. 

"Ugh just, get out!" He smirks at my frustration. "Why?"

"Because I said so!" He stands up and holds his hands up, with mischievous glint still in his eye. 

"Fine, fine. I'll get out. See you later." 

I have my back towards him until I hear a whisper in my ear. 

"Kitten." I turn around to face him, but he's already gone.


	4. Chapter 4: Snake Man

Virgil's POV

I sink on my bed, pulling out a sketchbook. I flip it open to a clean page, when "Heyyy, Virge. How's it going?"

"What do you want, snake man?" "Ohh, really, Virgey? I thought you were better than that. I just wanted to know how it's going with (Y/N). Cute nickname, by the way. Kitten. Can I keep her?"

At those words I look up, my eyes flashing at the man known as Deceit. "No." "Aww but come. On. Virgey, you know it would be fun. Letting me mess with her a bit. Getting into her head." "I said no, Deceit!" 

He just laughs at me. "Aww, Virgey, are you jealous? Wait, you don't, you don't have a crush on her, do you?" I glare at him. "That's ridiculous, I've only known her for two days." 

"Oh, but you've known her longer than that, surely. She's Thomas's childhood and best friend, surely you know her quite well, enough to harbor feelings for her. Oh. I see now. That's why you didn't want to be out when she was around, isn't it? Why you stayed away, and kept to yourself, isn't it? Because you like her. But you were afraid. You were so afraid of what would happen when she got close to you. When she saw you as you really are."

I stand up, facing Deceit. "Get out of my room. Now." "Aww Vir-" "I said get out!" I yell, heavily breathing. 

"Alright, alright. But you should know this. She will never like you, want to be with you, when she sees what you truly are." With that last sentence, I sink to the floor, gripping my hair. 

No. No. That, that can't be true. He, he's the embodiment of lies, after all. It, it can't be it just, it just can't- My train of thought stops, as I wrap my arms around my knees, pulling them close to my chest. 

I just, I just have to stay away from her. Make sure that she doesn't get close to me. Yeah, that's what I'll do. But even I know that won't be easy. But, I have to try. I can't let her get close to me. I just can't.


	5. Chapter 5: Something's Wrong- Part 1

Time Skip- two weeks later

(Y/N)'s POV

I sigh in front of my computer screen, trying to edit another video. It seems I had another problem with the feed, but I know I won't be able to ask for Virgil's help. Not now, anyway. 

He's been avoiding me for the past two weeks, he hasn't talked to me, will barely even look at me. I've tried talking to Patton and Roman about it, but they don't know anything. Same with Logan. And Thomas, apparently, though I'm not entirely sure how that's possible.

I let my hair fall into my face, beyond frustrated with this video. "Ah fuck it. I've been working on editing this video for two hours. Not accounting the longer hours it took to make the thing." 

I get up from my desk, deciding on trying to sleep, since it's two am, but instead, I get a text from Thomas. 'Hey (Y/N/N)! And yes, I know you're still awake, I can see the light from your monitor underneath your door. Come to the store with me!' 

'At two am? No. Besides, why do you need to go anyway?' 'Well...I need more instant ramen. And other noodles.' I sigh, exasperated. 'Thomas, we have 30 packets of instant ramen, and we have other noodles. Why do you need more??' 'Just come downstairs.' 

With that I grab my black beanie and grey hoodie, and shrug them on, walking downstairs. "Are you okay, Thomas?" "Yeah, yeah I'm fine! Totally, totally fine." Thomas grins at me, but he knows I won't fall for that. 

"..something's wrong with Virgil, isn't it." Thomas looks at me a bit before he sighs. "Yeah...look, (Y/N), just come with me. Please." "Hey, sure thing, man. No problem. You know I'd do anything for you." 

Thomas grins. "That I do. Oh, Patton's coming too, is that okay?" "Of course! I love Patt." We walk out the door and Thomas locks the apartment, as I open up the back door, and Patton turns towards me from the passenger seat. 

"Hey, kiddo! How are ya?" "Well, considering it's two am, and we're going for some instant ramen, I'd say pretty good." Patton grins at me as Thomas heads towards us and starts the car.


	6. Chapter 6: Something's Wrong- Part 2

Warning- Will include a detailed panic attack scene. Might be triggering to some.

POV- Reader

Why in the fuck is Thomas still acting like nothing’s going on.

We’ve been in the store, which was apart of a large mall, for an hour, and still, nothing. I sighed as I helped Thomas load yet another pack of noodles into a cart, adding some chocolate to it for myself. 

If he was getting comfort food, than so was I. ...even though I do love instant ramen and noodles, but, that’s not the point. “Thomas.” “Hm?” My best friend turns around to look at me, but not entirely looking me in the eye. 

“Thomas, please. What the fuck is going on.” Thomas sighs, running a hand through his hair. “That’s for Virgil to tell you, not me. Even he won’t tell me what’s going on, I just get a feeling it concerns you. And he’s...well, he hasn’t been like this in a long time. Not since before Logan, Roman, and Patton fully accepted him.” 

I look at him, confused. “Look, I’ll tell you later, just, try not to push him, okay? That just makes it worse.” I glare at Thomas. “Thomas, that’s how I am. You don’t have to tell me that when that’s how I handle things.” 

“Look, I know, it’s just, you guys are so damn alike...” Thomas turns around, clearly wanting to stop talking about this. “I’ll go pay for the stuff, just, try and find Patton, would you?” I nod, already seeing Patton pressing his nose against the glass of a pet store. 

I walked towards Patton, smiling at the adorable Side. “Ah, hey, kiddo! Look at these adorable puppies!!” “Eh, I prefer kittens, but puppies are great too.” “Oohhh I love those too!! Ya know, we should get one..” With that Patt tries to go into the pet store, but I drag him out. 

“Come on, Patt, we have to go home.” “Okay, okay, fine...” We walk back towards Thomas and head to the car. 

Time Skip- 2 hours later. 5 am

POV- Virgil

* WARNING- What transpires next will be a detailed description of a panic attack, from a first person perspective. If that triggers you, then please, skip this. I will tell you when it’s over. *

I sit in the corner of my room, shaking, trying to get air in. Breathe in for five seconds, hold for three, exhale for five. Breathe in for five seconds, hold for three, exhale for five.

Over and over and over I repeated, clutching myself tighter and rocking myself. It was no use, the room, the whole fucking room was closing in on all sides, suffocating me, every sound that I heard was too damn loud, everything was in focus and out of focus at once. 

I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t focus, my brain was on overdrive, screaming at me to fight, to do something, but there was nothing to do, nothing to fight. 

So I stayed, trapped inside my head, growing worse and worse, each sound and breath coming out of my mouth growing heavier, more rapid with time. 

I hated this, I fucking hated this. I could never seem to be able to hold myself together, and right when I thought I had something right for once, the world would rip everything away and shove me back to where I was in a second. 

I could never, I could never get out of this. I would, I would, I would never get out of this. I start crying, silent screams and sobs coming out of my mouth, trying and failing to get ahold of myself. This would never end. This would never. Fucking. End. 

* First person scene is over, next will be a scene with the reader calming Virgil down, from the reader’s POV. *

POV Change- Reader 

I had just gotten to sleep, when I suddenly awoke to muffled, rapid breathing. I rolled over and looked at the clock, seeing it was 5:10 am. 

I put on my glasses, quietly walking out of my room, trying to find the source. I walk down the hallway, and hear it coming from Virgil’s door. Oh shit. That is not good. 

I quietly edge open the door, and see Virgil, curled up against the wall. I walk over to him, slowly sink down to his level, and gently hold his hands, which are death-gripping his hair. 

“Virgil? Can you hear me?” I whisper to him, as I see his eyes flick to me, hearing a whimper escape his lips. “I’m going to put my arms around you, is that okay?” 

Virgil nods at me, so I tentatively put my arms around him, pulling him into me. I feel his breathing rasp up against my ear, unsteady as when I came in. “Hey, Virge? Can you tell me what you see? Try and list off five things, Virge.” 

I hear him pull in a shaky breath, as I draw circles on the back of his hoodie. “I- I...I see...I can...I can see my lamp, and, and I can see a bl-blanket, on the fl-floor, and, and, m-my, my headphones, a-and..and-“ Virgil stops, trying to gain another breath. 

“Good, that was great, Virge. What about something you can feel? Try listing five things.” He nods slightly. 

“I, I-I can f-feel my h-hoodie sleeves over my hands, y-you drawing circles, u-um, I, I can, I can feel, I can feel your arms a-around me, I-I, I can feel the fl-floor, a-and, I can, I can feel your h-hair..” 

Virgil’s breathing calms a bit, so I brush some of his hair back, and run a hand through his hair repeatedly, trying to calm him. 

“Is this okay?” He nods again, and I feel him start to slowly relax against me, his shaking receding, his breathing evening out. 

“Are you feeling better?” “Y-yes. ....th-thank you.” I nod to him. “Of course, Virge. No problem. Do you want me to stay with you?” He shakes his head. “N-no, I-I think I’ll be okay.” “Alright.” 

I stand and start to walk out, when he gently grabs my wrist. “W-wait. St-stay...please.” He whispers the last word so quietly that I barely hear it, but I nod. “Do you want to sleep on the floor? Or the bed?” 

“Th-the bed..u-um, could you hold me..? I-I, I’d sleep better if you did.” I smile at him. “Sure, Virge. Do you want to change into anything, or are you okay?” 

“N-no, I’m okay..” I nod as I walk over to his bed, and place my glasses on his nightstand. Virgil walks over to me and I sit down on the bed, gently pulling him into me, laying down as I do so.

I let him get comfortable until I wrap an arm around him, while my other wraps around his back, letting my hand move through his hair. 

He seems to relax at that, slightly nuzzling into me, with his head on my chest. One of his arms is draped across my chest, with the other tentatively at my waist. I smile down at him, and we slowly drift off to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7: Are You Okay?

Time Skip- The next morning. 10 am

POV- Virgil

I awake to the feeling of warmth, an arm wrapped around me, the other buried in my hair, my head nuzzled into someone’s chest, with my arms on their chest and against their waist. 

I lift my head, finding my face a few inches away from (Y/N)’s. I lightly blush, trying to ease myself out of her arms. I manage to get out without falling off the bed onto the floor like an ass, thankfully. 

I head to the bathroom, making sure she’s still asleep behind me.

I glance in the mirror, and in short, look like shit. I look worn out, my eyeliner smudged even further by tear stains, and my hair’s all over the place, like I ran my hands through it, gripping it. Repeatedly. Which, I did. ‘Well, at least I had (Y/N) to help me..’ I sigh, heading towards the shower. 

POV Change- Reader

I wake up on my stomach, my face buried in a pillow, Virgil’s scent all over it. 

I flip over and sit up, finding that he isn’t still in bed. “Virgil...?” I tentatively say, as I get out of his bed. I then notice the sound of a shower running. 

“O-oh. That’s where he is.” I slightly blush, then shake my head, and open his door, heading for my room. No, you idiot! You’ve only known him for three weeks, and he didn’t even talk to you for two of them! Calm down! 

I head to my dresser and pull out black ripped jeans, a Legend Of Zelda Twilight Princess shirt, grab my black beanie off the top, and my grey hoodie with oversized sleeves from the back of my chair. 

I head to my bathroom and change, deciding to wear some of my makeup today, which I don’t usually do. I put on black eyeliner over my upper lid, and some on the bottom, but less thick, and smudge both. 

I put on some dark eyeshadow, and smudge that over my smudged top eyeliner. I then put on some light blush and lipstick, and I’m done. I then grab my black glasses, and look in my mirror.

Ah, perfect. I love enhancing my emo/alternative style. I head out my door, and into the kitchen. I grab a bowl and a box of cereal, pour it into the bowl and start to eat it. 

(A/N- If you want to add milk or something else go ahead, this is just a lose character after all, since it’s an X Reader. You can change her to whatever you want, if you wish ^-^) 

“Ah hey, (Y/N/N), you’re up!” I look up from my breakfast to see Thomas.“Ah, yeah! Sorry I slept late..” 

I rub the back of my neck, embarrassed. “Eh, it’s fine! I know you helped with Virgil. So I’m grateful for that. And besides, it’s the weekend!!” 

Ah. Shit. “Ah, um...Thomas..?” “Yeah?” “...aren’t you supposed to record a video today...?” Thomas looks at me, before panic lights his eyes.

“Ah shit!! (Y/N), go to the living room! Let me round up the guys!!” I nod, heading to the living room, but not before Patt, Virgil, Logan, and Roman appear. 

Huh, that was fa- I look at Virgil, who’s hair is wet, obviously just gotten out of the shower, with a black t-shirt, ripped black skinny jeans, and..no eyeliner..? 

I stare at him, until Patt calls me out of it. “Ah, hey kiddo!!! Don’t you look all cute and especially dark today!! You look great!!” 

“Ah, y-yeah..thanks, Patt! You look..as adorable as ever!” Patt grins and envelopes me in a hug, to which I lightly hang from his hands, slightly wrapping my arms around him. 

Virgil looks on, a slight smirk on his face. “Hey, princess. Get over here.” “Wh-wha-?” 

One second I was in Patt’s arms, the next I’m pulled against Virgil’s chest, with him smirking down at me. “Well don’t you just look cute, kitten?” 

“I-I, I am not cute!! And I am no kitten, and certainly not yours, Virgil!” I pout, a blush slowly creeping on my face. 

“Yeah, you are cute, kitten.” He continues to smirk at me, to which I stare at him, dumbfounded, confused on what to do. 

“Alright guys, let’s make a vid- Whaatttt is happening...?” Thomas stares at me and Virgil, to which Virgil just smirks over at Thomas. 

“Oh, nothing, Thomas. Just telling princess over here how cute she looks.” 

“V-Virgil!!!” I struggle to get out of his grip, to which he lets me go, but ducks his head to my ear. 

“You really do look cute today, kitten.” His voice becomes slightly deeper with that sentence, with a slight growl to it. 

I look up at him, my face even redder, as he just smirks even more at me. “Thanks for the hug, princess.” 

“Y-y-you’re welcome..?” I head towards Thomas. “I believe what just happened here is known as” Logan pulls out his notecards, “flirting.” 

“Yes, thank you Logan, we were aware of that.” Roman rolls his eyes at the logical Side, watching my reactions. 

Thomas just stares at the two of us, a knowing look in his eyes, before he starts to speak. 

“Alright, (Y/N/N), do you want to be in the video?” “W-wait, what?” 

“Well, you know the Sides, and have a closer connection to one of them, so it might be fun having you in the video!” “Y-yeah, okay..” I say as Thomas starts the recorder. “Okay, here we go!”


	8. Chapter 8: What Are You Doing..?

WARNING- Slight BDSM style flirting. 

Time Skip- After the video

Well, that was...interesting. My contribution to the video involved many sarcastic comments, mainly towards Princey, stuttered responses towards Virgil’s flirting, which...well. 

He just became more amused and cocky at my reactions...which was kind of hot...ughhhh I need to stop I have only known him for three. Weeks. And I don’t even know. Him. 

Anyway, there were a lot of comments about my being in the video, and some even started saying they ship me and Virgil...here we go with the ships, can’t wait to see what kind of fanfics they turn this into...at one point people started to ship me with Thomas, when he appeared in some of my let’s play collab videos earlier on... I shake my head, heading on up to my room, to just relax and watch some Netflix. 

I reach my room, to find Virgil crouched down near my stereo, examining my CDs. “Ah, hey, Virge, how are you?” 

Virgil turns around, slightly..flustered..? “H-hey (Y/N), I’m much better now, um..thank you for last night, I’m sorry I didn’t say that earlier...” 

Virgil rubs the back of his neck, clearly embarrassed. “Hey, it’s okay, Virge. I have them too. You don’t need to tell me thank you when it’s already written on your face. Facing a panic attack by yourself is the worst shit ever.” 

Virgil nods, picking up a CD. “Heh, ‘From Under The Cork Tree’. Love this album.” “Yeah, it’s a great one.” 

I grab my laptop from its charger against the wall, and head to my bed. “Ah, what are you gonna watch?” “Probably re-watch BBC Sherlock.” 

“Oh, what’s that?” I gave at Virgil, surprised he hadn’t seen it. “It’s amazing!! Here, come watch.” I scoot over, patting the spot beside me. Virgil approaches me, a look of caution on his face. 

I smirk at the boy. “Hey, I don’t bite. Unless you want me to.” I smirk further as he becomes flustered at my statement, sitting on my bed. 

“J-just, just turn the show on, please?” I grin at him, and pull up the first episode. I watch the show, but mainly I just watch his reactions, they really are adorable. He seems to love this show, I hope I rope him into it. Wait till he realizes there’s only three episodes in each season.

POV Change- Virgil

What the fuck does she mean by ‘“Hey, I don’t bite. Unless you want me to.”’??!! Is she implying that she would want to bite me? 

Wait but if she would want to bite me that would mean she likes me, right..? Must revert back to normal sarcastic cocky flirt personality so she doesn’t see how flustered I am. Okay. Here goes. 

“Oh, really, kitten? You’d want to bite me?” I let a bit of a growl edge my words, and look to see her reaction. A small smirk plays on her lips, with a bit of wicked fire lighting in her eyes. 

“Oh, yes, I would. I imagine it would be quite fun, you know, to have you at my mercy.” Oh shit. Oh shit. I have not prepared for her to shoot back at me like this. 

“Oh really, princess? And how would you have me at your mercy?” She fully smirks at me, pauses the screen, and leans over to me. “You’ll find out, if you’re good.”

She nips my ear and goes back to watching the show, as if nothing ever happened. What the fuck. What the fuck did she just do. What just. What just happened. 

POV Change- Reader

Ahaha the poor boy’s face. I cannot wait to mess with him more. 

Time Skip- Season 2 Episode 1 of BBC Sherlock- A Scandal In Belgravia

We’ve made it to Season 2 of BBC Sherlock, much to Virgil’s delight. Heh I’m totally messing with him from quotes in this episode. 

I watch his reactions to the episode, while watching the show simultaneously. I pause the episode, to Virgil’s protest. 

I lightly grip his chin, lean towards his ear, and ground out “I would have you against this desk until you begged for mercy. Twice.” 

I pulled back and pressed play on the video, watching his face switch between facial expressions of confused, flustered, cockiness, and something else that I can’t entirely place. Virgil turns to me. 

“Th- that’s just a quote from, from the show, right?” I smirk at him. “Yes, cutie. It’s cute to see your reactions. Wonder how you would react if I really did something..” 

At this statement he blushes immensely, trying to hide his face in his hoodie. “Pl-please just turn it back on..” “Sure, cutie.” I press play again, watching him peak out from behind the sleeve of his hoodie. He is so adorable. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, Raven Wolfblood here! In case any of you are wondering, this fanfic will have BDSM in it, both in speech, in the form of flirting, and acts.
> 
> So, if BDSM makes you uncomfortable, then I would suggest you stop reading. And if you do not know what BDSM is, BDSM stands for Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, and Sadism/Masochism. 
> 
> And for future reference, both the Reader and Virgil are Switches, which in BDSM means that they switch between a Dominant and Submissive personality. Just wanted to try and clear things up a bit. Hope everyone’s having a good day!


	9. Chapter 9: What Is It?

Virgil’s POV- Time Skip, a few days

I sigh, looking down at my sketchbook. I just can’t get this right...

It was a sketch of me, Patton, Roman, and Logan, that I was attempting on doing but..it wasn’t really forming. “Whatcha doin’ there Virgil??” 

Bits of deodorant fall onto my sketchbook. Remus. Fuck. “What do you want, Remus? And you can clearly see what I’m doing.” 

I shut the book putting it back in my drawer, as Remus just watches me, loudly munching on deodorant. “Oohhh you know what would make it better?? A lewd sketch of (Y/N)!!! Before she gets thrown into a pit of lava!! To be sacrificed to the sexy gods!!“ 

“Oh GOD no no no I did NOT want that image in my head!!” “There’s a reason I’m an intrusive thought, ya know.” Remus grins around his mouthful of deodorant. 

“Just, why did you come in here??” “To pester you about (Y/N)boo, of course!!! You know, you never really stutter unless she says something particularly...saucy. It’s new from you.” 

“Yeah, so what?” I glare at the other Creative Side, wanting to get him out of my fucking room. He is such a fucking nuisance. 

“Sssooooo that means that you like (Y/N)boo!!! Orrr you at least want to do some naughty things to her, huh?? I can suggest a few!!!” “No, Remus, would you get the fuck. Out. Of my room.” 

“Aww poor Virgil, looks like I struck a nerve!” Remus gleefully laughs at me as he throws a container of deodorant behind him and starts eating another one. “God that’s so fucking disgusting.” 

“On the contrary, I actually kind of find it amusing, Virgey~” Fuck. Fuck no. Not the both of them. I turn around and see Deceit. “Both of you. Out of my room. Now.” 

“Awwww come on Virgey is that any way to talk to your best friends?” “I don’t have best friends, and you are not. My friends.” I snarl at them, fed up with their shit. 

“Oh, really? Because I remember quite differently. We used to be the best of friends, didn’t we, Remus? We’d do everything together!”

“Well guess what. The we thing? That’s a were thing. Not going to happen again, Deceit.” I hiss out his name. 

“You’ll never get ride of us, Virgey. We will always be here. Because we’re the only ones who understand you, after all. You’re one of us. Those pesky little other Sides, they don’t get you. They don’t understand you. And (Y/N)? Even less! She barely even knows you. So stop playing pretend and get back with us.” 

Deceit grins at me, extending a hand. “I said, no, Deceit, what do you not fucking understand? Both of you, get the fuck out. Get the fuck out of my room, now!” 

“Alright, fine. Don’t say we didn’t warnnn you.” They finally exit out of my room. I slowly turn, looking at my room. 

God, all I ever do is fuck shit up. All. I. Ever. Do. Is fuck. Shit. Up!! I let out a strangled scream, ripping the covers and blankets off of my bed, throwing everything off of my desk, throwing things against the wall, tearing down posters, sketches, drawings, notes, notes from the others, everything. After everything in my room is trashed I crouch in the middle, curl into a ball, and scream out my pain.


	10. Chapter 10: Collab With Me?

Time Skip- Later that day

I sighed, trying to come up with a new idea for a let’s play I could post to my channel. Ohh...I could do a collab. But..with who? 

I could do one with Thomas, but he was out...looks like I’ll have to do it with one of the boys. I grab my phone, going to my contacts. I click on the one called “Cute Emo Nightmare”, and send him a text.

‘Hey Virge? You doing anything?’ ‘No, why?’ ‘Collab with me?’ ‘First of all, what are we collabing.’ ‘FNaF.’ ‘....finneeee, I’m coming.’ ‘Yay!!!’ 

POV Change- Virgil

I grin at the messages, changing her contact info at the top. Hmm. Princess. That should do it. 

I look at her new name, satisfied, heading out of my room. I knock once on her door, and she lets me in, bringing me over to her computer. “Alright, you ready for this??” “As ready as I’ll ever be, princess.” 

I sit down in a rolly desk chair as she gets out two pairs of headphones, and puts her monitor and camera in collab mode.

(A/N- I’m not a YouTuber so I don’t know how this actually works, sorry!) 

She puts two mics on the desk, and turns to me. “Alright, so I’ll start my intro, say what we’re doing, and introduce you. Sound good?” I nod, already putting on the headphones. 

Time Skip 

“(Y/N) (Y/N) (Y/N) moVE OH MY GOD IT’S COMING FOR ME (Y/N). (Y/N) BONNIE’S COMING FOR ME. SHIT. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT DON’T LET ME DIE. DON’T LET ME DIEEEEEEEE.” 

I could hear (Y/N) laughing in the background, as she had already gotten through the five nights, but OH MY FUCKING GOD I’M GOING TO FUCKING DIE. “(Y/N) FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS TIM BURTON HELP MEEEEEE.” 

“Alright alright- ....oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shIT VIRGIL GET AWAY NOW.” “WHAT. WHAT. WHAT’S HAPPENING.” “VIRGIL. VIRGIL THAT’S FUCKING MANGLE. GET. AWAY. NOWWW.”

POV Change- Third Person

Patton heard yelling and screaming coming from (Y/N)’s room, and his dad instincts rose tremendously. Oh no my poor dark strange children!! I must protect them!!!

With that Patton could be seen charging up the stairs towards her room, but Logan appeared. “Patton what are you doing?”

“My dark and strange children are in danger. I must. Protecc.” 

“Patton.” “I must.” “Patton.” “PROTECC.” “Patton.” 

“MY DARK AND STRANGE.” “Patton.” “CHILDREN.” “PATTON.” “Yes Logan?” The Side titled his head at Logan, smiling. 

“They are both completely fine. They are simply” Logan pulls out his notecards “playing a video game in which they fight off automized characters and try and survive five nights without their characters dying, otherwise known as “Five Nights at Fred-dy’s.” 

“I MUST PROTECC.” Patton walks to (Y/N)’s room, through which yelling, screaming and an assortment of curse words could be heard. 

“MY CHILDREN ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!” (Y/N) paused the game as both she and Virgil turned around. “Oh yes we’re fine Patt, we’re just gaming a horror video game.” 

“Oh. Alright then. Have fun kiddos! Don’t stay up too late!” With that Patton giggled, and sunk down, going to bake some cookies for his dark and strange children. 

(Y/N) turned to Virgil. “Well that, was interesting.” They looked at each other, both trying not to grin and laugh, and they both burst out laughing. They later un-paused the game, which caused Patton some more worries for his children.


	11. Chapter 11: I Don't Think That Means What You Think It Means

POV- Third Person

"Alright Logan, let's try this again." The Creative Side was sitting with Logan in his room, helping him with slang terms, not that Logan was any good at them to begin with. 

"It appears the next term on your list is "thot." Interesting. It is not grammatically correct." Roman rolled his eyes. This was going to be a long day. 

"Yes, Logan, that is intentional. Now, what is the definition?" "Thot. Adjective. Means to call someone a hoe. Hoe? Like a gardening tool?" "No, Logan. A hoe in this sense, means a slut." 

"Hmm, interesting. Would you classify as a slut?" Roman gasped, putting his hand to his heart dramatically. "For the love of Disney, no! What kind of prince do you take me for?!"

Logan looked at the Creative Side, clearly done, as they say, with his shit. "Ahem, a-alright then, let's move onto the next one! This is yeet." 

Logan takes the notecard, examining it. "Yeet. Verb. To throw something. Theoretically, could I ye-et a fly?" 

"Wh-what kind of question is that?" "The fly is already suspended in constant motion. If I grabbed the fly, could I ye-et him?"

"First of all, it's yeet not ye-et. And second of all, no." "But, why? If the fly-" "Because it just can't, okay! Next one!" 

*20 Terms Later* 

"That's it! That's it! I am done trying to teach you slang!" 

Roman stalks out of the room, extremely exasperated, and goes to sulk and watch Disney movies while listening to Broadway musicals to cope with the neverending exasperation of dealing with the Logic that is Logan. 

Patton walks in, having seen Roman storm out. "Hey, what's wrong with Roman?" 

"He tried to teach me slang terms. That did not go well." Logan slightly frowned, straightening his glasses. "Hey, Logan! I can teach you! And we can bake cookies!" 

Logan looked at the man's adorable puppy face and could not refuse. "Yes, of course Patt." "Yyyaaayyyyy." 

Patton grabbed ahold of Logan and practically dragged him down the stairs to the kitchen. Patton got the materials necessary, and the recipe, for Logan, of course. 

Patton made his with the measurements of happiness, love, and rainbows. 'But even you have bad days, don't you, Patton. Days that you can't get out of bed in the morning, days you can't be the happy go-lucky side everyone wants you to be, needs you to be-' 

"Okay, let's start!" Patton started measuring out ingredients and putting them into the bowl, while taking the recipe from Logan and throwing it in the trash.

"Now, what was that an example for?" "Ah, that would be yeet." "Correct!" After a few minutes of mixing,Patton takes the bowl and starts putting the dough on the sheet. 

"Want some chocolate chips, Lo?" "Hmm? Ah, I suppose." Patton takes a chip and feeds it to Logan, then put the pan in the oven. 

"Thank you, Patt. You are such a not-thot." "A what?" "A not-thot. You aren't a gardening hoe, correct?" "Well, of course I'm not, Lo!"

Logan wished to spare the Side from dirty thoughts, for Patt was too pure. And too cute. Wait, cute? 

Well, yes, Patt is very adorable. But, in a way that I cannot define..I just want to kiss him and see his adorable face light up for me and see him blush- 

Logan shakes his head, the tips of his ears somewhat red, the only indication that the man was flustered. "Patt, why did you throw away the recipe?" 

"Ah, it's because I measure with love, Lo!"

"Love? You cannot make cookies with love as the primary measuring ingredient, you must use the proper measurements to make them taste delicious." 

"I think not, Lo." "And why is that?" "Because for once your logic is wrong!" Oh, that struck a nerve with the Logical Side. 

Logan moved over to Patton, backed him against the kitchen wall, and placed his arms beside the Side's face, pinning him.

"What did you just say?" Logan stared at the man and whispered, his eyes darkening with something that made Patton squirm. 

"I-I said- I said that for once your logic was wr-" Patton was cut off by a glob of cookie dough hitting his face.

Patton looked up and saw Logan leaning against the counter, giving him a cool look with another ball of dough in his hand. "There's your measurement of love. Does it taste worthy of perfection?"

"Yes, it does. In fact-" Patton took a ball of dough and threw it at Logan, to which the man sputtered and threw another back. Soon, it turned into an all out cookie dough war, when Roman loudly burst in because he smelled chocolate heaven. 

"Patton, are you making- oh, what's going on here?" Roman paused to look at the two men, who were both covered in leftover cookie dough. 

"You started a food fight without me?! How preposterous!!" Roman moves over to the bowl, scoops out some dough, and throws the entirety of it at Logan. 

"Ha, take that, you foul fiend!" Logan glared at the prince, fully intending to cover his sparkly prince attire in dough. 

Time Skip

Virgil had just finally finished a sketch when he heard yelling coming from the kitchen, lots of it.

'Well, better see what this is about.' Virgil sinks down and goes to the kitchen, only to land in the middle of a food fight.

Roman had a pan in front of him like a shield, with a glob of cookie dough in the other, Logan standing on top of the counter, and Patton near the oven trying not to let the cookies burn while also throwing dough at Logan and Roman.

"What the fuck is going on?!" "A food fight, Virgil, what does it look like." Virgil darkly glares at the prince and turns around, about to head back to his room, when he feels something smack the back of his head.

Slowly turning around, Virgil grabs some dough. "Oh, it is on, bitch." The fight goes on for awhile, with Patton somehow managing to save the cookies from doughy destruction, and Princey somehow managing to keep his clothes from getting covered.

Once the dough ran out, the Sides all looked at each other, all completely covered in dough except for Roman. Logan, Patton, and Virgil share a look and materialize dough into their hands and each throw it at Roman when he is unguarded. 

Roman, having been assaulted with dough, dramatically falls back as if he had been shot. "Oh, oh, the agony. The terrible, terrible agony! You served me well, my princely suit. You shall be remembered forever and glorified in the songs of bards!" 

The other Sides share a look, and sink down into their seperate rooms to wash off, and leave Roman there. "Aha! I've won, you fools!" 

Roman triumphantly leaves the room, until he is stopped by more cookie dough, this time dropping on top of his head. Roman looks up and sees a contraption, no doubt made by Virgil. Oh, he was so, going to get him back for this. 


	12. "Get Virgil Back Plan" Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Will include slight sexual/BDSM content. Read at your own risk.

Third Person POV- Deceit and Remus

"What is it, Deceit?" The Intrusive Side glared at the Deceptive Side, wondering why he had been pulled out of his scheming against Roman and his pure creative ideas. 

"Oh, nothing much, Remmy, just, you know, a plan to get Virgil back on our side." Remus stops materializing random objects to bludgeon Roman with, intrigued. 

"A way to get Virgil back, you say? Hmm...you know he won't come over easily, especially because of that girl." 

Deceit laughed at what he thought was idiocy, amused that he was the sanest one in the room for once. 

"Oh, Remmy, it really isn't that hard to get him back, you know. Just, a little convincing to push him over the edge, and to realize that he needs us instead of them." 

"Oh, well, what do you propose, then?" "Simple. We pull him back when he has another panic attack. I'm sure you can take care of that." 

"Mm, I already have a few ideas." "Alright, we'll put this into action, then. But, in the meantime, want to antagonize random people we find on the streets?" 

"Couldn't have thought of anything better." With that, the Dark Sides head out to dick around and mess with the sanest people they could find. 

Time Skip

"Roman, we've got to do something! It's so obvious that they like each other, they haven't done much of anything!" Patton looked over to Roman, who was listening intently. 

"Yes, it's been, what, four months now? You would think they would make a move! I swear, their flirting and sexual tension is so obvious, we really must do something." 

While they were discussing the love life of (Y/N) and Virgil, Virgil was in his room, trying to come up with a way he could make a move that wouldn't be too forward or freak the girl out. 

'Well, she is pretty calm headed..and confident..and hot as fu- uuugghhhh Virgil stop, you sound like a teenage girl. Okay, okay, fine. We could, well, we could just, you know, kiss her..? But what if she doesn't like it, what if she shrugs me off, what if she never wants to see me again, or talk to me again, oh god-' Virgil took a breath to calm himself. 

"No, it won't happen like that. Just a few weeks ago she did those..slight BDSM things..that were hot..and then she helped you out when you had a panic attack and you fell asleep on her and she didn't make a move to make it seem like she didn't like it or that she regretted it..and then with all the flirting we've done since then..okay, okay, let's go and find her. Yeah. Okay. Let's do this." 

The Anxious Side, much to his name, went to (Y/N)'s room and knocked on the door, nervously pacing outside until she opened the door. 

"Virge? What's up?" "U-um..hi (Y/N)..I just wanted to..wh-what are you wearing?!" 

"What, is it inappropriate or something? Wow, Virge, never thought you gave a shit about clothes." "N-no its not that..its just..y-you look..hot like that.." 

(Y/N) smirked at the boy, having heard what he said. "Oh, you think I'm hot, do you?" "N-no! I-I mean..maybe..?" "What is it, Virge. I know you." 

"N-nothing." (Y/N) nodded, knowing that forcing him was going to get her nowhere, and opened her door wider. 

"Well, since you're here, want to come in?" "Yeah, sure, thank you." Virgil tried not to stare at (Y/N), but, with what she was wearing, that was kind of impossible. 

(Y/N) had decided to wear ripped black skinny jeans, which wouldn't have affected him much, except the shirt she was wearing with it was a slightly sheer black t-shirt and a choker that, paired with the black jeans, showed off her curves. 

And, as he was a young adult boy, it was kind of hard not to stare. (Y/N), on the other hand, tried not to stare at Virgil as well, because he had come in wearing faded black skinny jeans with a dark purple t-shirt, and he wasn't wearing a hoodie this time, so, it did show off his arms, which was something she rarely got to see.

And not to mention the way his bangs slightly covered his eyes in that adorable way of his, with his slight purple dyed hair and and chocolate brown eyes- 'Ugh, I need to stop, can't have myself pinning over him..but he really is cute..' 

(Y/N) shook her head and turned to Virgil. "So, is there anything you want to do?" "Yeah, um...could we game?" "Oh, sure, which one? My Switch console's over there." 

Virgil looked over to the other side of her room, to where a small tv hooked up to a Switch laid against the wall. "Mario Kart?" (Y/N)'s eyes lit up, and she once again smirked at the boy. 

"Aww, sweetheart, don't be surprised if I wipe the floor with you." Virgil met her smirk with his own and a taunting look in his eyes. "Heh, princess, don't be suprised if I end up beating you."

"Oh, is that a challenge? Okay, cutie." (Y/N) walked over to the console and sat in one of the bean bag chairs, Virgil next to her. 

Virgil turned on the console and handed one of the controllers to her, trying to decide what character to choose. He looked over at (Y/N)'s face scrunched up in concentration, having picked Breath of the Wild version Link and waiting for Virgil.

"Oh, Link? Nice choice." Virgil clicked on the original Link on the character choice screen, to which (Y/N) looked at him in exasperation, and Virgil just stuck his tongue out at her.

"Alright, Virge, what Cup?" "Mm, I think the Lightning Cup." "The one with Hyrule Circuit? Well, amping up the Legend of Zelda references, ay?" "Something like that."

Time Skip- POV change- (Y/N)

We had just reached the 2nd lap of Hyrule Circuit, already having gamed four rounds of the same Cup. I had won the last two games, and was determined to win this one, which would be the last round of Mario Kart. 

I glanced at Virge out of the corner of my eye, watching him sitting cross legged on his bean bag, leaning forward, trying to pass me. 

"Oh, come on! Fuck you! Ugh, I hate Bowser." Virge's Link avatar stopped in the middle of the track, having been hit with a Red Shell. "Ha, I'm ahead of you!" 

"Not for long." Virge used one of his power-ups, the Bullet, and sped past me to second place, of which I was in fourth. "Oh, no you don't." 

We had crossed the starting line, onto the last lap of the race. I had reached third place, and Virge and I were both trying to get ahead and reach first place, which was held by a Peach avatar. 

I was getting ahead and was just about to pass Peach, when, out of nowhere, Virge's avatar passed me and Peach, and crossed the finish line. 

The score stats came up, signifying that the race was over, and I stared blankly at the screen."You- You- Virgil!!!" I glared at the boy, wanting to desperately prove that I could beat him.

"Yes, princess?" Virgil smirked at me, crossing his arms. "Y-you- you- ugh!" I threw down the controller and launched myself at him, landing on top of him. 

"You bitch! You emo bitch! I was so close to winning!!" Virgil just laughed at me. "Aw, come on, princess, it wasn't that bad." 

"Yes! Yes it was! Ugh! I just want to!" I stopped my sentence, grabbing his wrists and pinning them above his head. "Oh, what're you gonna do now, mm?" 

Virgil taunted me further. God, I was so done with his shit. I leaned in close to him, and a blush came onto his face.

"I'm going to do this." I whispered into his ear, and kissed him. If someone was going to make a move, might as well be me. 

I broke the kiss and Virge stared up at me, grinning. "Thanks for that, princess." "Don't mention it." I let go of his wrists and started to get off him, when he flipped us and I ended up beneath him, in the same position I had him in. 

"Who's the one in control now, mm?" Virge's grip tightened somewhat where he had one of his hands around my wrists. "Well, that depends on opinion." 

"Oh, princess, I believe I'm the one who's in control. Don't you think?" Virge's other hand lightly gripped my chin, making me look at him. 

His eyes were darkened, causing me to gasp a bit, especially with the devilish expression on his face, paired with the slight smirk. "Wh- what are you planning?" 

"Oh, nothing much. Just- this." Virge moved his hand from my chin to my waist, and connected his lips with mine, slowly kissing me to tease me. 

He broke the kiss and chuckled when I whined in protest. "Already whining? That's cute. I haven't even done anything yet." He moved his hand from my waist to my chin, tilting my chin to the side. 

"I'm not a complete asshole, so I'll ask you for permission. Can I kiss your neck?" "Yes." "Thank you, princess." 

I felt his lips move to my neck, softly kissing my skin. He started to slowly move his lips down my neck, slightly sucking it, reaching my collarbone and lightly biting down.

A small moan escaped my lips as I felt him speak near my collarbone. "Ah, into biting? Good to know." 

He leaned back from me and gently brushed some of my hair off of my face, running his hand gently down my face and resting on my check. "You're beautiful, you know that?" 

He whispered and lets go of my wrists, letting me wrap his arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me as he connects his lips to mine again, this time slipping his tongue into my mouth. 

My hands bury in his hair as I melt into the kiss, and I pull away, breathless. "We should- we should probably figure out what we are to each other now before we do anything else." 

"Oh, yeah, sorry, got carried away." Virge sits up and holds my hand, pulling me up with him, letting go of my hand when we're both sitting up. 

"So, the reason I came to your room was to tell you that I like you, but, that's probably obvious now.." Virge rubbed the back of his neck nervously, glancing at me in anticipation. Of what, exactly, I wasn't sure. 

"Well..I do like you as well, Virge. And I..I-I would like to..date y-you.." I blushed and tried to cover my face with my hands, to which Virge gently wrapped his hands around mine and pulled them away from my face. 

"You're so cute when you blush, (Y/N)." Virge whispers to me, letting go of my hands. "W-well, um, w-would you..would you want to be my g-girlfriend..?" 

"Y-yes, you adorable boy." I launch myself into his chest, wrapping my arms around him, and he wraps his arms around me, holding me to him, running a hand through my hair.

"I-I..I have a girlfriend..and that girlfriend is (Y/N)..this is amazing." "Virge?" "Mm?" I lift my head up to look at him, and he looks down at me. 

"I heard that, ya know." I grin as a blush spreads across his cheeks, and kiss his forehead. 

"C'mon, you know how much Roman and Patt have been trying to get us together, might as well tell them." Virge stands up and offers his hand to me, and I take it, interlacing my fingers with his. 


	13. Chapter 13: You What??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deceit and Remus are together in this fic, I tried to add the relationship tags, but there weren't any for Deceit and Remus.

POV- Third Person (Deceit and Remus)

Deceit and Remus had just finished off another person, with Deceit convincing them that it wasn't a good idea to go over and say hello to that girl, and Remus placing horrible lewd thoughts in others, for random reasons about people they know but would never have lewd thoughts about. 

Deceit was actually trying to help the people they messed with, in his own way, while Remus was just messing with them for the fun of it, and, also, he was bored. 

Dee hadn't done anything to him as of late, he hadn't held his hand, kissed him, anything. It caused him a bit of worry about Dee, but he didn't want to make it appear that he was worried, so, he went on with Dee. 

But he couldn't help but notice that Dee would stare off into the distance, like he was preoccupied with something else. Or...someone else. 

After another hour of this, Remus became increasingly concerned, and decided to approach Dee about it. Hopefully, he would get an answer out of him. "Dee?" "Hmm?" 

The snake-like Side cocked his head and looked at Remus, but with a faraway gaze. "Dee, are you listening to me?" "Yes, of course, Remmy." 

Remus huffed, glaring at the man. "Dee, what is up with you? You keep spacing off, you won't touch me, or do anything remotely romantic, or sexy, with me, and, you will barely even look at me. So. What. Is your problem?"

"Oh, nothing, Rem-" "Don't, give me that. Just, don't." "Well what do you want me to do, Remus?" "What, is up with you? Why are you getting angry at me?" 

Deceit looked at Remus, sighing with a pained look in his eyes. "...fine. I don't want to do this, but, it looks like I have to. I...I don't love you, Remus. I'm sorry I just..don't. I'm sorry I led you on but...I thought that it would be easier. And that it wouldn't hurt anyone. But I was wrong." 

"Y-you...you lied...to me? I knew you were deceitful, but I didn't know you would do something like this. Do you know how much I fell for you? Do you kn- I may be looking for just a fuck, yes, but my feelings got in the way. And I fell for you. And I- I thought you of all people would understand. What that's like." 

POV Change- Deceit

I stared at the other man in front of me, who was trying not to break in front of me. I knew the last thing he wanted was for me to see him show weakness. The fact that he was showing this much..  


"Just, tell me something. Please." I met his eye, startled. He barely ever begged. "What is it, Remus?" 

I saw his eyes dim at the lack of my nickname for him, causing me to inwardly wince. "I know there's someone else. Who is it?" 

"Rem-" "Who. Is. It?" "...Remus, please-" "WHO. IS. IT?" "...Virge." "...fuck, why was I this stupid. This is why you came up with that stupid plan, fought so hard for it. I knew. I KNEW that you two had a history and that you were fawning over him and still I- get away from me." 

My heart broke at seeing him seconds from breaking, trying to hold it in. I reached a hand out for him, begging, for him to not do this.  


"Remus, please-" "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" I watched him stagger back, breathing heavily, and disappear, most likely into his safe place. 

The place that only he let me see..I knew I would be barred from it now.

"Goddamnit! Why must I- I was only trying to- I was only trying to...I was only trying to make it better. I was only trying to make it better." 

I teleported to my room, taking the things I used when I got like this. I got the balls of glass I had created and flung them against the wall, only satisfied until there was a pile of broken glass at my feet. We're the ones who always fuck things up, aren't we?

No matter what we do, no matter how hard we try and fight against it, we always fuck things up.


	14. Chapter 14: Finally You Two Are Together!

POV- Virgil 

"Alright, so, do we call them in, or...?" (Y/N) turned to look at me, with a bit of a hesitant expression on her face. 

"Well, knowing Patton, we could try and make some cookies, since he loves those. But, he'll just go on and on about how his "strange and dark children" made cookies for him and...well, noott entirely ready to face that display yet." 

(Y/N) smirked, and nodded, let go of my hand, and turned away from me. "Thomas, Patt, could you come down real quick? And could you grab Logan and Roman for this too?" 

A second later they appeared before us, a bit confused, but Roman and Logan had knowing smirks on their faces. Shit. Logan and Roman must have conspired again. At least they could agree on some things.. 

"Hey, Virge, you wanna say it? Or should I?" I was snapped out of my train of thought and looked at my girlfriend, smiling at this ball of adorableness. 

"Uh, yeah, sure. Guys, um-" "You and (Y/N) finally got together. Yes, we know." Logan looked at me with no change to his unemotional disposition, but I thought I saw a glimmer of..happiness? It faded as quickly as it came. 

"Oh, I knew it! I knew it! I knew my strange and dark children had feelings for each other! Aaahh we should celebrate by making cookies!!" Patton practically radiated happiness, bouncing on his feet with a grin on his face. 

He started to head towards (Y/N), when Thomas held up a hand. "Wait, just...I could tell she had feelings for you. She's my best friend, and like a sister to me, so that much was obvious." 

I noted the veiled threat in his sentence, nodding. "So, I have to know. What exactly are your intentions with her?" I glared at him for a split second, annoyed. 

I'm apart of you, you of all people should know what- oh. Right. I hid my feelings concerning (Y/N) from him, and everyone else. "I wish to date her, and to continue dating her. I like her a lot, have for...a long time, but...I'm not in love with her currently. So don't assume that I'm jumping into this without any consideration. I am the embodiment of your anxiety, after all." 

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I was starting to ramble, with my words not making sense in relation to the question. As usual. 

"I want to be with her. I want to be able to help her be happy. I want to be there for her when she needs me. I...I want to be something that she wants. Not, not something that she needs. She's a very independent, strong woman, she doesn't need me. But...I would like it if she wanted me. If she wanted to be with me for awhile...I would be beyond happy with that. That's..that's something I've always wanted, someone who would stay by me, help me, and..who would want to be with me for a long time, longer than just a meaningless fuck that evolved into feelings- oh shit I didn't mean to say that, um, d-don't ask about that. But, yeah, those are my intentions." 

I looked up from the ground, to see that my hand was linked with (Y/N)'s. When did that happen? "Okay, thank you for that, Virgil. I...didn't mean to p-push you.." 

I looked to see Thomas appeared to feel what I felt. Yeah. It's because I'm his anxiety. "Well, want some cookies, kiddos?" 

Patton could sense the tension in the room, and I knew he wanted to ease it. "Yeah, sure, Patton. Cookies sound great." "Okay!" 

We all watched Patton go into the kitchen, and then we looked at each other. "Well, do you have any more questions?" I looked over to see my princess facing them, gripping my hand tighter. 

She knew that this was hard for me, my anxiety aside. I don't know how she knew, but she did. "Oh, no, I'm good. Logan?" 

"Oh, no, I've observed enough and came to my own conclusions, thank you." "All..right then. Roman?" Thomas turned to look at the Creative Side, studying me and (Y/N). 

"Virgil, I know we...don't get along, sometimes. Certainly not in the past." (Y/N) nodded beside me. 

I'd already told her about my past with the others, before they accepted me, on a night when I couldn't sleep. Which, for the both of us, seems to get more and more frequent. 

"But, I'm happy for the both of you. Especially you, Virgil. If you're both happy, in this relationship, and you treat her right, and she treats you right, and you both look after each other, then that's all I could want." I stare at Roman in shock, surprised to hear that much from him. 

"Well, I think I'm going to go and listen to some Broadway soundtracks." Roman sinks down, with Thomas and us left. 

"Well, basically all of that...I agree with. Just, be careful? I know the both of you, and I don't want you hurting each other, least of all yourselves. Alright, I think you've heard enough from us." 

I gently pull (Y/N)'s hand. "Hey, princess, could we head up to my room and sleep, maybe..?" I drift off with my sentence, unsure of how she'd respond. 

We did sleep next to each other, yes, but that was because she wanted to comfort me after my panic attack.. "Oh, yeah, sounds good. A nap sounds great right now." I smiled and pulled her into my arms, kissing her head. "Yeah, maybe we'll get some decent sleep now." 


	15. Chapter 15: Remus??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm sorry it's been so long since I last updated. I started a Dark/Anti fic and got distracted by that, and AO3 had a glitch to where it didn't save my paragraph changes, so I had to do it all over again. Again, I'm sorry for it being so late! I hope you enjoy this chapter.
> 
> As requested by AO3 user Fishplz, here is a new chapter, with the paragraph changes. I hope they suffice!

POV- Remus  
Oh, god, oh god, oh god. I should have expected this. I should've KNOWN that this was going to happen. Why did I hope, why did I hope that- that this could actually work out.

I'd disappeared into my safe place, and the only other one who knew about this was Dee- Deceit. His name. Is. Deceit. He is not mine, and does not deserve that nickname from me. 

Roman knew about this place too, but...even though we are brothers, I highly doubt he would come looking for me. "Remus??" Oh. Spoke too soon. 

"What do you want?" "I came to check on you. I thought something was wrong." "Nothing's wrong." I turn away from my obnoxious brother, snuggling further into my pile of blankets. God, I just want to drown in them and never resurface. 

"Yes, there is. You only get like this when someone you fell in love with breaks up with you. Who was it this time?" "...Dee." "Dee?" "Deceit, Roman! I fell in love with...Deceit. How could I be so fucking stupid!" 

Princey sucks in a breath and sits down beside me, wrapped in a blanket burrito. (Hey, I may just be looking for a fuck, but I can be a mopey person who just got broken up with too). 

"Is...is there anything I can do, Remus...? I...I know we don't get along that well...but I want to try because you're my brother and you're hurting..." 

"Um, yeah, can you get some Sour Patch Kids ice cream? It's usually what I eat when I feel like crap..." (A/N: Yeah, Sour Patch Kids ice cream is a real thing, in case you didn't know. Doesn't sound appealing, but Remus would probably enjoy the fuck out of it)

"Sure, Rem. Anything else?" "Just...could we watch slasher movies? And eat ice cream? Like we used to?" 

"Of course, Rem. Lemme go get those things real quick." I hear Roman's voice soften, and he leaves. I hope he comes back. We haven't done anything like this in years. As much as he pisses me off, I love my brother. 

Time Skip- After movies have been watched and ice cream has been eaten

"So, you ready to talk about it?" Roman asks beside me, clad in comfortable pajamas, the ones that looked like those we used to wear when we were younger. 

He even gave me some of my own. Times like this is when I miss him. But, he's a Light Side...can't...can't go getting attached, even though he is my brother. 

"Sure." I put down my eighth package of deodorant, and sigh, straightening my green, yellow, and black pajamas with a symbol of a mace on it. 

Ever since I was little, Roman knew what I enjoyed. If only I could bash Deceit's head in with my mace multiple times, more than enough to "kill" him, shouting at him 'This is what it feels like!! What you did to me?? How does it feel?!'

I...I know I'm demented. And I am proud of that. But with my brother...all I see is what I could have been. Accepted by the rest, instead of outcast, because of how I am...I'm...getting too ahead of myself. 

"I won't bore you with the details, Romy-roo, but...earlier today, we went out onto the street, to pester normal living folk. Dee- Deceit was being himself, and I was, also being myself. It was quite fun, torturing them...anyway, Deceit started to seem off to me."

"Because, you see, he hadn't tried to do anything "couple-y" through the whole day. I questioned him about it, he denied, of course. He...revealed that he- that he never loved me. And...that he was still in love with Virgil, and wanted to get him back...that's why Deceit approached me with a plan to get Virgil back on our side...but I won't go through with it...not anymore..."

"God why did I have to be so stupid? Tell him that I love him?? And- and fuck with him and I- I would've done anything, anything he'd asked, if it made him happy. Anything. That was all I wanted...now I want to torture him and make him feel the pain that I felt...bury the cold steel of weapons into him and hear him beg for me to stop...but I wouldn't stop. Not until he knew every. Inch. Of pain. That he. Caused. Me." 

I collapse even further into my fort of blankets, waiting for Romy to respond. "I'm...I'm sorry, Rem. I know how much you cared for him, now. I'm sorry I didn't stop you from dating him."

I looked up at Romy, startled. "Why...why are you siding with me?" "Because, you are my brother. And in this circumstance, I'm going to side with you. He hurt you. And you genuinely love him. So of course I'm going to side with you."

"I- ...thank you, Romy. Can...can you stay with me? I'm not sure I want to be alone right now, and...we never do this anymore." "Sure, Rem. Scream III?" I grin at my brother, however obnoxious he may be. "What else?"


	16. Chapter 16: Logicality?

POV- Third Person (Logan)

After knowing about Virgil and (Y/N)'s relationship, it caused the Logical Side to think about his feelings for Patton. Are his feelings merely friendship, or something more? For several hours he had sat in his room, analyzing his interactions with Patton, and his own feelings. Of course, his feelings was another matter. 

He was never very good at deciphering feelings, or understanding them, because of his tendencies to react logically to everything. And now...the one who could help with feelings was Patton.

But this matter concerned him. The only other person who was left was Roman, he supposed. He could maybe ask (Y/N), but they weren't that close...well, might as well try. And besides, Roman seemed to be occupied. 

And with that thought, Logan sought out after (Y/N)'s room, knocking on the door. "(Y/N)? May I come in? I need to inquire about something." 

The early twenties female appeared in the door, opening it. "Sure, Logan. Come in. What's up?" Logan entered and stood in the center of her room, unsure as to what to do. Seeing his uncomfortability, (Y/N) pulled out a chair for him, and herself.

"Well, this has to deal with...feelings. Ones I am not sure I was even capable of. I pride myself on the unemotional, calculating qualities of myself, but even I recognize I have the semblance and the ability to experience emotions previously unassociated with myself. And...what I am currently experiencing...confuses me. And that is something I am not comfortable with."

(Y/N) nodded, starting to understand where this was going. "You're starting to develop romantic, more than friends feelings for Patton, correct?" 

"Correct." Logan did not question how she figured it out, because he knew she was more insightful than most her age. "And, you aren't sure where to go from here. Well, could you describe when you realized this, and what you're experiencing?" 

"Certainly. I first realized when Patton and I were baking cookies in the kitchen, and he said something that irked me...presuming that he was right in the instance that my intelligence was wrong...previously, I had thoughts that involved finding him, adorable, as one might say, and even attractive. And once Patton said that...well, you could say I snapped, and, I trapped him against the wall."

"He seemed to be affected by me trapping him against the wall, because his pupils had dilated, and, his face became slightly flushed with his pulse quickening...and that confused me further, so I diffused what was happening by throwing some of the cookie dough that was left over, into his face. And, as I further thought about it...I realized that I had had previous thoughts such as those before...and I have no idea what to do with them." 

"Mm, is that so?" (Y/N) smirked at the logical man, knowing that he liked Patton. He wasn't falling for him, certainly, but, knowing the both of them, that wasn't bound to take long, assuming this had gone on for as long as it seemed to have had. "Well, do you think Patton has experienced the same feelings?" 

"Yes. In addition to that interaction, he also tends to call me "Lo", which, I quite like that nickname...and then I refer to him as "Patt", sometimes, as well. He seems to like it when I refer to him using that nickname. Also, whenever I approach him, I have noticed his pupils dilate, and he also is prone to stare at me for longer periods of time than deemed normal. And, I have also heard him talk in his sleep...it seems to involve me quite a bit, with him saying my name, or asking me something using an affectionate nickname, and then later using his nickname for me. I assume that he...likes...me, as well, but I am unsure where to go with this." 

"Well, why don't you start by talking to Patt about it? I'm sure he would appreciate it. And you're also comfortable with him, and even if you are nervous, it's okay. Tell me how it goes, alright?" "Yes, I suppose I will. ...thank you for your help, (Y/N). I will go talk with him now."

Logan walked out the door, still presenting a confident disposition. But, when he went down the hall to Patton's room...he became anxious.

And with that anxiousness, he started to pace, outside Patton's door, debating on what to do. Patton was inside, and could hear Logan muttering about whether he should tell Patton, or just go away. Eventually, after noticing that Logan was in true distress, he opened the door.

POV Change- Patton

"Lo?" I opened the door and stared at him, watching him still pace outside my door. "Lo. Logan." I approached him and stopped in front of him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?" "No, Patt, I...I'm not. Could...could we discuss this in your room?" "Of course, Lo." 

I gently grabbed his hand and led him into my room, knowing I was one of the only people who could touch him like this.

Lo stood in my room, looking back and forth, unsure on what to do. I eventually led him over to a chair, knowing he'd be more comfortable there than on one of my bean bags. I sat on my bed, facing him, as he leaned forward and placed his arms on his knees. 

Damn, he looks hot like that...oh, stop, me, we don't have time for that right now. Drool over him later. "So, what's wrong?"

"Patton. I...I...have...I have developed romantic feelings for...for you." Whatever he was going to say, this was definitely not what I thought was going to come out of his mouth. "Y-you...you do?" The voice that came out of my mouth was quiet, little more than a whisper, and timid. Disbelieving. I knew Lo heard me, though. He always hears me.

"Yes, Patt, and...I was wondering if you...felt the same? Towards me? I...I am sorry, discourse like this fails me." Lo's face was scrunched in determination and slight apprehension, his face turned from me. "Yes, Lo, I do like you. I've...I've liked you for awhile, and I wasn't sure if you felt the same. But, I see now, that you do."

"Yes, Patt, I...I do...can I...can I sit beside you?" My face heats up at his words, thinking about...things. "U-um, sure, Lo." 

He sits next to me, fidgeting with his fingers. He...doesn't usually do that. I reach out my hand and hold his, interlacing my fingers through his. "Is this okay?" 

"Yes, Patt...yes it is." I smile and lean my head onto his shoulder, and he turns to me, studying my face, obviously thinking about something. What is he thinking about...? 

Lo leans over and softly kisses my forehead, which, well...it made me feel all warm and tingly. I'm...probably blushing, now. "L-Logan...?" I take my head off of his shoulder, and look at him.

"Yes, Patt?" Lo looks at me with a smirk. Oh. Oh no. I...I'm in trouble. If he's smirking..."C-can I, um, can I k-kiss you...?" At that a light blush appears on his face, and my eyes soften. Awww. So cute.

Lo nods, and looks at me, anxious. Oh, that's right. He's never kissed anyone before, much less a man. Well, time to show him what it's like. I lean into him and softly kiss him once, letting him get a feel for what it's like. I wouldn't want to overwhelm him. Yet. 

"Well, that was...that was amazing." I look at Lo, startled that he would ever say that word. His eyes seem to glow, and he moves closer to me, placing a hand on my cheek. "Damn, how much I want to kiss you again..." He said damn? Lo said damn?? Well, this is...this is new.

"Wh-what's...what's stopping you?" I timidly ask, looking down. He moves his hand from my cheek and lifts my chin up so I can look at him, smirking at me. 

"You're right. There's nothing stopping me."

Lo leans down to kiss me again, tentatively, at first, with care obviously interlaced in it. 

Soon enough, though, he kisses me more rapidly, hungrily, until I have to break away for air and regain myself. "You know, for someone who hasn't kissed before, you're pretty good at it, Lo."Lo is blushing more, now, his cheekbones a pink color. But still, he smirks at me. "I know, Patt."

"So does this...make us boyfriends now? C-can we be boyfriends now...?" Lo's smirk turns into a smile. "Nothing would make me more joyous, Patt." I grin and tackle my boyfriend into a hug.


	17. Chapter 17: Virgil...Sings?

POV- Virgil

A few weeks had passed, since (Y/N) had become my girlfriend. Wow. My girlfriend. Still can't get over that. She's amazing, she really is. 

And, she hates wearing nail polish, but she knows how much I love wearing my black nail polish, so she decided to try and paint hers black too...so cute. 

She'd never done it before, so watching her try was adorable, but sweet. Eventually I painted them for her, with her being mopey and annoyed that she couldn't do it herself. 

She's so cute. Damnit. UGGGHHHHHH WHy can't I stop. Okay.

I really shouldn't be judging myself for feeling this way, all the time. I mean, with her being her...it's impossible not to. 

Her smile, her laugh, the way she scrunches up her face when annoyed or concentrating, how she'll stick her tongue out when she's gaming, sometimes, that excited, bubbly look she gets when she starts rambling about something she loves, or about her new YouTube upload and how much she hopes her viewers will like it, how kind she is, but how she can kick your ass in a second, just, everything.

I really don't deserve her...

I head over to the corner of my room, getting my acoustic guitar. (Yes, I play the acoustic guitar, ik, surprise surprise, the emo guy plays an acoustic guitar :p) 

"You know...I should maybe play for (Y/N) one day...she might like that.."

I tune my guitar, having not played in a couple weeks. Ugh, definitely needed to tune it. Sounds so bad. 

(A/N: I'm a bass guitarist and my bass doesn't get out of tune very easily, so I'm just assuming, sorry guys.)

I start playing the beginning chords for 'Tear In My Heart' by twenty one pilots, I've always loved that song, and honestly, that's kind of what (Y/N)'s done to me. She's gotten through my armor. 

"Sometimes you gotta bleed to know, that you're alive and have a soul; But it takes someone to come around, to show you how...she's the tear in my heart, I'm alive, she's the tear in my heart, I'm on fire. She's the tear in my heart, take me higher, than I've ever been..."

Time Skip- Reader POV

I headed down the hallway to go downstairs so I could grab some ramen, but- wait, is that Virge? Singing? And playing an acoustic guitar? Oh, I so have to listen in. 

I stand by the door and sit against the wall, listening to his hypnotizing voice. I always loved listening to him talk, but this...

"She's the tear in my heart, I'm alive, she's the tear in my heart, I'm on fire. She's the tear in my heart, take me higher, than I've ever been. My heart, is my armor, She's the tear in my heart, she's a carver, she's a butcher with a smile, cut me farther than I've ever been. Than I've ever been, than I've ever been. Than I've ever been. My heart, is my armor, she's the tear in my heart, she's a carver, she's a butcher with a smile, cut me farther, than I've ever been..."

I sit enraptured in his voice, much softer and slightly deeper than his speaking voice, kind of like a caress. I had...I had no idea he could sing like this. Play, like this. 

It...it does something to you, hearing someone like that. When he sang...it sounded like he was pouring his soul, all that...all that he keeps hidden, into what he's playing. Its...its beautiful. 

I hear him softly strung the last few cords, and I open his door, and stand in front of him. "Virge!! That was beautiful!!" "(Y-Y/N)? Wh-what-"

"Virge that was amazing I had no idea you could play like that, or, or sing like that!!" I wrapped my arms around my shocked boyfriend, and clutched him to me.

"I-it was...th-the song was about you, a-actually..." "Wait, wh-what? Really?" 

I pull back to look at his face, dusted with a light blush. "Y-yeah..." He ran a hand behind his neck, looking away from me. 

"I thought it was wonderful. Th-thank you, Virge." I buried my head into his chest. "You're welcome, princess." I feel him kiss the top of my head, and I snuggle farther into him.

"C-can you sing for me again? Please?" "Of course." I hear him softly start to sing 'Tear In My Heart' again, and I fall asleep to the sound of his voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I know I haven't updated in, well, forever, um, and I'm sorry for that!! I'll try and update more often, and I know this chapter isn't as long and kind of rushed, so, my apologies! I hope you liked it anyway. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading this, you all help keep me going. So, thank you!


	18. Chapter 18: It's Her Birthday!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!! I'm so so so sorry for not updating in such a long time, I've just had a lot going on. I'll try and update more often, I promise. Again I'm really sorry!!

POV- Reader  
Well, today's the day I turn 23...hmm, have I really known Thomas for that long? It seems not that far away, when we first met...I was seven and he was nine, and their family had just moved next to us. 

I remember hearing Thomas loudly singing Disney songs from his backyard, heh, his voice wasn't that good as it is now. Such a squeaky voice, now that I remember it...

*Flashback to when you and Thomas first met*

"But maybe they've a glimmer of potential, if allied to my VISION and BRAIN, I know that your POWERS of RETENTION are as WET as a warthog's BACKSIDE, but thick as you are PAY ATTENTION, my words are a matter of PRIDE-"  


"Who are you and why are you screaming "Be Prepared" from 'The Lion King' in your backyard?" The boy turns around to me, rubbing the back of his neck. 

"Oh, ah...I'm, I'm Thomas, nice to meet you!" 

Thomas looks at me as I cross over into his backyard, with a confused look on his face. I sit next to him, looking at him. "So you just moved?"

"Oh, yea, I think your parents are talking in the house with mine...? But, yea." 

"Well, Thomas, my name's (Y/N). Do you wanna be friends?" "Oh, yea sure! One question though: Do you love Disney?" 

"Umm, Thomas did you not hear me when I knew what song you were singing and what Disney movie it was from? But yes, I do love Disney." I grinned at the boy that was now my new friend. "Okay, great!" 

*Flashback Ends* 

I walked downstairs into the kitchen seeing...Thomas...making...pancakes? I mean don't get me wrong, I love pancakes, but Thomas doesn't really...cook...? "Thomas..? You're making pancakes..?" 

"Oh, hey, (Y/N/N)! Happy birthday! Yeah, I know they're your favorite, so I asked Patton to help me make them...heh. Oh and I set up a little station thing so that you can put whatever you want on them too, same for the others."

"Oh, thanks Thomas! You're the best." "No problem (Y/N/N)." Thomas turns around and smiles at me, sticking his tongue out at me.

"Tommy we haven't done that since we were kids." "Okay, so? And you haven't called me that since we were kids either." 

I sigh at my best friend. "So, is there anything I should prepare for today?" I look at Thomas, quirking my eyebrow at him. "Whatttttt that was one timmeeee." 

"Mm, you sure? Cause I remember coming back to my house from work, when I was in high school, and just wanting to sleep, when as soon as I entered the door you grabbed me, carried me princess style, like a fucking Disney prince, dressed as Jack from Nightmare Before Christmas, and singing "This Is Halloween" at the top of your lungs while throwing me onto my bed AND throwing a Zero plushie at me. I mean, yeah, you started a Tim Burton movie marathon for me and we ate candy and stayed up until three a.m., but COME ONNNN YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME." 

"I'm sorry but I thought you would enjoy iiitttttttttt." I shake my head, sighing at him. "I did, but you could've warned me at least!" 

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Buuutttt, Nightmare pancakes? I made them look like Jaaaccckkkk." 

My eyes light up and I try and grab the plate. "Oohhhhh gimmmeeeeee." 

"Nnoooo you can get them AFTER you go see Virgil. I'm sure he'd love to be woken up by you cuddling next to him."

My face heated up as my best friend smirked at me, and I smacked his arm. "O-okaayyy I'll go see my boyfriend. But there better be pancakes when I get back!!" 

I ran up the stairs to my boyfriend's room as I heard Thomas laughing.

POV Change- Virgil

I snuggle further into my hoodie, well, (Y/N)'s, actually. Since it's oversized it fits me, but...I love it so much. And it SMELLS LIKE HER. It's so amazing, I love her scent, its like...idk. I just know it's great. I should get up, but I'm so warm right now and I have her hoodie on me that I don't wanna- 

I feel my bed dip from someone sitting next to where I'm curled up, and I lift my head to see (Y/N)..? "Hey, princess, wha you doin here?" Ughhhh I'm still tired. She's probably gonna tease me about it later. 

"Nothing, I just wanted- are you wearing my hoodie? And snuggling in it?" I hear the smirk in her voice and hide my face into one of the sleeves, shaking my head. "Nnnooooo..." 

"Okay, can I join you?" She's still smirking at me, which makes me blush, damn it. No. What I'm doing isn't cute. Stop it. 

"S-sure..." She lays down next to me, wraps her arms around me and pulls me into her chest, and I snuggle into her, because, extra warmth, and it's her. "You still tired cutie?" "Yea...five more minutes?" 

I hear her laugh and she nods, holding me tighter to her. I'd love to be holding her, but I'm too tired to protest, and also, I love this. I mean, come on, it's free cuddles.

"Just go to sleep baby, I'll wake you up." I nod into her chest and I drift off to sleep, as she slowly runs her hands through my hair. 

Time Skip

"Virrgggee come on the pancakes are gonna get cold." (Y/N) tries to get me up but I just snuggle further into her. 

"Nnnnnoooooooo..." "Virge, come on baby, they're Nightmare Before Christmas pancakes that look like Jack, and I wanna eat em. Thomas made a little station thingy and everything." 

At that I lift my head up, and look at her. "Waiit, Thomaas made tha pancakes?" My voice slurs a little again, and she just laughs.

"Yeah, he said he had Patt teach him." "Ohh. Wait, why'd he make them?" (Y/N) ruffles my hair and smiles. "It's my birthday Virge." "Oh, your birthday...OH IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY." 

Once she says that I get out of her hold and off my bed, running over to my dresser and grabbing out clothes. 

I take her hoodie off and start to lift my shirt up, butttt then I remember she's in the room with me. Shit. 

We may've been together for four months now, but still...I'm kinda self conscious about it, don't want her- "Um, princess, c-could you not l-look?" 

"Oh, OH yeah, yeah sorry I'll leave the r-" "I- I-I don't want you to, just, um, t-turn around?" "Yeah, of course Virge." 

I quickly pull some clothes on and turn around, pulling her hoodie back on, and trying to hide the blush on my face. I see that (Y/N) is blushing as w-well...well, at least I'm not the only one that's flustered. 

"P-pancakes?" I ask, tilting my head to the side, as she crosses over to me. 

"Yeah, but I wanna kiss you first." "Wh-" I'm cut off by her pressing her lips to mine. Damn, I can never get over how soft they are. 

She pulls away and kisses my forehead, and gently grabs my hand. "You wanna go eat some Jack pancakes now?"

"Y-yeah, sounds great.." I watch her smile as we exit my room and tighten my grip on her hand. She's so cute when she smiles. 

Time Skip- *The boys have conveniently let you edit a short YouTube video while they plan the rest of your birthday* POV Change- Third Person

"So, guys, what else should we do? I think maybe putting a lot of blankets and pillows on the floor in front of the couch and just all watching what she would want to would be nice, she'd definitely enjoy that. But give Virgil and (Y/N) here some time alone to themselves too, cause I'm sure Virge here has something up his sleeve."

Thomas looks at the angsty boy, who is rubbing his eyes with the sleeve of (Y/N)'s hoodie. 'Heh, that's just adorable.' Thomas smiles at him, glad that he's finally happy.

"Oh, yeah, I do. And I agree with what Thomas said, I think that'd be nice. After we're done planning I'm going to take (Y/N) out, but we'll be back around 5:00 p.m....?"

"Okay, so it's one p.m. now...that should give us enough time. I'll let Patton make the food, Logan can arrange the blankets and pillows, annddd Roman can...help decorate the cake?"

All the Sides nod, as Virgil goes to find his girlfriend.

POV Change- Virgil

I head up to (Y/N)'s room and knock on her door, expecting her to answer. She doesn't so I go in, thinking something's wrong, but she's just absorbed in her editing and didn't hear me.

I grin at her, watching her edit her video while curled up in her chair she uses for her videos.

I decide to let her edit her video, since it only takes thirty minutes to get where we're going, and also, if I tried to stop her she'd probably kill me. So, I decide to do the next best thing: Sketching her. 

I materialize my sketchbook out of the Mindscape, because I'm too lazy to walk out and grab it from my room. And she just looks really adorable that I don't want to move away from her. 

I slowly start to sketch her, watching as she moves and trying to work it into the piece.

Time Skip (A/N- I'm sorry there's so many of these in this chapter!)

I look up from my work, glad to have it done, when I see her start to shut her computer down. I get up and walk over to her, closing my sketchbook. 

"Hey princess." I wrap my arms around her as she tilts her head to look up at me. "How long have you been in here?" 

"A while, I guess. I was just sketching in the corner. So, I have a surprise for you. We should get back around 5, since it's already 3:00, if you wanna go now." 

"Oh, um, sure, just let me grab my phone and stuff." I let her go and materialize my leather jacket, again, too lazy to want to walk out and grab it. "Your leather jacket?"

I turn around as I shrug it on, seeing that (Y/N)'s grabbed a small black backpack for her stuff. "Yeah, I was gonna take us there on my motorcycle, unless you don't want to?" 

"Wait, you...you have a motorcycle..?" I watch as her face scrunches up in confusion, and I smirk at her. "Yeah, kitten, just because I'm the anxious Side doesn't mean I don't know when to have a little fun and be reckless. Shall we?" 

"Well, now I feel like I should grab mine..." (Y/N) shrugs off the jacket she was wearing before and opens her closet, grabbing out her leather jacket, which I didn't know she had. Then again, it's fall now. 

She walks over to me and I walk outside, holding her hand as I approach my motorcycle. It's nice, but I tend not to ride it much. 

Wouldn't want to worry the others, and also, sometimes I don't feel too confident about driving it. But with her, I feel like I could. 

I sit on the motorcycle as I grab my helmet and materialize one for her, both black, cause I know that's what she prefers. I hand it to her as I start the motorcycle, and I feel her arms wrap around my waist.

Time Skip- The Mall. POV Change- Reader

Virgil parks his motorcycle and gets off, taking his helmet off and holding out his hand for mine. Damn, he looks hot like this....anyway, I hand him my helmet and we go into the mall, and he leads me to...the pet store? 

"Virge? Why're we here?" Virgil lets go of my hand and wraps his arm around my waist. "It's a surprise princess." We walk into the pet store as he lets go and walks up to the cashier, speaking to them about something. 

I browse around, looking at all the cute animals they have. Honestly, if he just left me in here, or in a bookstore, I'd be here for hours. 

"Hey, (Y/N), you wanna know what it is now?" Virge walks over to me, shaking his head so that some of his hair falls in front of his face. Heh, so cute..."O-oh, yeah, sure!" 

Virgil grins and motions for me to follow, leading me to the cashier. In their hands there's a...pet...carrier...? "W-wait, Virge, did you?" 

"Yeah, I did. Do you wanna see her?" "Um, please?" Virge laughs and opens the little door, scooping out a...a black kitten?! With blue eyes?! "Ohh my gooddddd Virge she's so cuuttteeee."

Virge places the kitten in my hands. "Look at her nametag, princess."

I look down at her collar, seeing a little neon jack o lantern, that looks like the one on Zero's nose from Nightmare. OOHH AND HER NAME IS ZERO TOO?? "Oh my god Virgil, I love her so much! Thank you!!!" 

"No problem, princess." We exit the store as Virge grabs the things he'd bought for her, and I look at the little kitten already asleep in my arms. 

"Wait, um, Virge, what are we gonna do about her..? And her things? We can't bring it on the motorcycle." 

"Already got it covered. I can send Zero here and her things to the house, I've been practicing." "Oh, oh that's great." 

He walks over to his motorcycle, and sends off her things to the house, and then gently grabs the kitten from my arms, and sends her off too.

"Where'd she go?" "Oh, I placed her on your bed and her things in your room as well." "Okay, thank you." Virgil smiles at me, and nods. "Of course princess." 

He walks over to me and wraps me up in a hug, surprising me. "Baby? You okay?" "Y-yeah, I just...I'm just glad, is all. A-and you know I'm gonna stutter every time you say that." 

"Well, need to say it more often then, baby." "(Y-Y/NNN)!" I laugh at him being cute, and he starts up the motorcycle again.

Time Skip (A/N- LAST ONE I PROMISSEEE (I'm not okay :p. Heh, MCR joke)

I walk into the house and see a pile of blankets and pillows over near the couch, and the smell of a fresh baked cake. Must be Patt. "Happy birthday kiddo!!" Patt runs out of the kitchen and hugs me tightly, as I hug him back. 

"Patt, you smell like chocolate." Patt giggles and lets go of me. "That's your cake silly!" "Ohhh, yay! Chocolate!" 

"Um, Patton...how much chocolate did you put in there?" I hear Virge come up behind me, and looks at Patt. "Oh, not much!" 

"Looks like the birthday girl's going to get a sugar high. Annnndddd she'll crash really quickly." "Wh-what I'm not that bad!!" "Yes you are kitten." "W-well, fine maybe I am...I'm going to go get Zero." 

POV Change- Virgil

I chuckle as I watch her go up the stairs to her room. "Who's Zero?" "Oh, I got her a cat for her birthday, Patt. Zero's a black kitten with blue eyes, and on her collar she has a jack o lantern like the one on Zero's nose in Nightmare." 

"Awwww, I wanna see the little cutie!" "Pattonnnn, I need your culinary expertise! Can you tell me if my decorating is good?" "Well, off to the kitchen. See ya kiddo!" 

I head over to the blanket pile, seeing (Y/N) already wrapped up with Zero in her lap. "Hey birthday girl." I sit next to her and kiss her forehead, wrapping an arm around her. "So, what do you want to watch?" "Mm...Stranger Things?" "Sounds great." 

We were about halfway into the second episode, when Patton and the others came into the living room, carrying the cake. "Here ya go (Y/N)!" Patton sets the cake down in front of her, having Roman pick up Zero as he did. 

Everyone sat down next to us as (Y/N) looked at her cake, which was decorated with characters from Nightmare Before Christmas. "This cake is amazing, thank you!!"

I watched her blow out the candles as Logan handed out plates and forks, and when she tasted the cake, well, she looked like she was in heaven. Oh yeah, she's definitely crashing.

POV Change- Reader

Five episodes of Stranger Things and cake eating later, everyone except me was asleep. I don't know how I'm still awake, but...looking around the living room, this is...this is all I could ever want. 

My best friend curled up on the end of the blankets, hugging a pillow, Logan holding Patton to him as Zero is curled up on Patt's lap, and Virge...I'd ended up sitting on his lap awhile ago, and now I was curled up with his head nuzzled into the side of my shoulder...yeah, best birthday ever.


	19. Chapter 19: No, No That Can't Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Deceit will harass the Reader in this chapter. Self harm issues, gender dysphoria and depression will occur, including a traumatic flashback and an outside description of spacing out. Read At Your Own Risk. 
> 
> Also, the Reader is genderfluid and also pansexual, but she doesn't really concern herself with the labeling of her sexuality as she is attracted to generally everyone, so technically she's pansexual.

POV- Reader  


I'd been laying on my bed for hours, since I woke up at 5 a.m. I couldn't sleep since then, but I could barely get any sleep as it was. I don't know why, I just, I just couldn't. I'd been like this for weeks. 

I should just start asking Virge if I could maybe sleep in his room, or if he could sleep in mine. I found it a lot easier to sleep if it was with him. God, I why can't I bring myself to get out of bed. 

"Aww, are you having sleeping problems (Y/N)?" "Wh-who...who are you...?" I turn my head and sit up at the voice, and see a man in a black and yellow suit with yellow gloves, a hat, and...half of his face...looked like a snake? 

"Oh, I'm no one, sweetheart. You don't need to worry about me." The snake man smirked at me, like he knew something I didn't. This...this man...made me very uneasy. 

"I feel like I should worry about you." "Oh, haha, no surprise there! Almost EVERYONE worries about me." "O..kay...why are you here? And again, who. Are. You?" 

Snake man smirks at me and messes with his nails. "Like I told you, I'm no one, honey. But I will tell you thiisss. I'm apart of Thomas. Oh, or should I say Tommy, mm?" 

I glare at the man. I'm the only one that can call him that. "Don't call him that." 

"Oh? So I can't call him that either? Ohhhh, oh, I see. It's about your paaarrenntss, isn't it? You know, being able to read someone's emotions and see the images associated with it is quite useful...oh, something happened, didn't it?" 

"St-stop it!" I clenched my fists as the man laughs. "I thoughhtt so. What happened with them I wonder, hmm? Will you tell me, or will I have to get it out of you?" "N-no! St-stay away!!"

The man approached me and grins. "Looks like I'll find out after all." After he says that, I black out.

*Flashback: CAUTION. Memory involves being physically abused by parents and being verbally abused/yelled at. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.*

"You are a Senior in High School! We expected better of you!"

"What, that I wouldn't go to a Pride Parade? That I wouldn't like people of my same gender, or that I would like multiple types of people, regardless of their gender or no gender at all? That I'm genderfluid?" 

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT. THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU ARE." 

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM! THE FACT IS WHEN I SHOW YOU WHO I AM YOU DON'T WANT TO! YOU DON'T EVEN WANT ME AS YOUR CHILD!" 

I yelled at my mom, who was fuming, and my dad looked like he was trying to restrain himself. This wasn't a good situation, but I was too far into it now. 

"AND YOUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Don't even get me started on that SHIT!" "I didn't make that channel for YOU, I made it for MYSELF, WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND?"

"BECAUSE YOU POST THINGS WE DON'T APPROVE OF!" "This is what I WANT TO DO, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU APPROVE OR NOT. THIS IS MINE, NOT YOURS!" 

My mom shook her head, a bitter smile on her face. "You will delete your YouTube channel. You will apologize to all your followers and friends that you thought you were...that. That you would be like that and go to a- ...Parade. Is that clear?" 

"No, that is not clear. This is who I am, this is what I want to do, and you will NOT STOP ME. THIS IS WHO I A-" I was cut off by my mom slapping me across the face. 

"This is NOT. WHO YOU ARE. We know who you are. Who you always have been. And this, is not you." 

"Y-YOU DON'T! YOU DON'T! YOU D-DON'T KNOW WHO I AM!"

"(Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N). That is a fucking lie. You will listen to your mother, and you will obey our rules." 

"Or what? O-or what, huh? You already fucking hit me! You've taken almost everything away from me!" "It's because it's for your own good. We know what's best for you." 

"No, you don't!" "Yes, we do, and if you don't obey our rules, you will be kicked out of this house. And you will have to fend for yourself. Is that what you want?" 

"Maybe it is! Maybe it is, if you can't treat me like a fucking human being!" My mom snapped her head from looking at my dad, to mom glare at me. 

"HOW. DARE. YOU! Do you know how much we've done for you?"

"You haven't done much for me now." "What, did you just say?" "You heard me." "Don't disrespect your mother!" 

"I've had that YouTube channel since I was fifteen! I started it because Tommy insisted! You can't just make me throw that away!" "We can, and we will."

"No! I won't abide by your shit anymore!" "Then GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE. " "Wh-what?" "Get out of this house. Now." 

"Y-you can't just-" "Yes, we can. Didn't you just say you didn't want to live here anymore?"

My dad regarded me with a cool look, knowing he had me cornered and that I couldn't do anything now. My mom looked like she wanted to hit me again, but looked like she was trying to stop herself from crying. 

"F-fine. I'll leave. But I'm grabbing some of my shit first." 

I ran from the room and upstairs, grabbing out a bag and packing things I thought I needed. I'd already planned a bag in case I needed to leave when I noticed they were getting worse. 

I headed over to my desk and grabbed my laptop, headphones, and chargers I needed. 

I also grabbed a photo of me and Tommy and my stuffed Zero plushie he got me for my birthday. Those were the good days. 

I pulled on a hoodie and grabbed my bag and walked out, slamming the door behind me. 

I grabbed out my phone and considered calling Tommy, but it would probably be better if I just walked to his house and knocked on his window instead. 

As I walked, I made sure the tracking apps on my phone were disabled and deleted. Didn't want them knowing where I was. 

I made it to Tommy's window, and nervously shifted. I noticed that he was awake, watching something from YouTube, but...what will he do?

I know he's gay, he was the one who went with me to my first Pride. But my parents don't know that. I don't want them going after him too. 

I breathed, and knocked on his window in a code we'd developed since we were kids. Good thing his window is on the first floor.

"(Y/N/N)? What are you doing here?" "H-hey, Tommy...c-can I come in?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure." Thomas opened his window all the way and let me crawl through, turning on another lamp so he could see better. 

"So, why- who- who hit you...? And-" "...my mother hit me, Thomas. I was kicked out." 

"Oh, god, come here. Here, you're sleeping on my bed tonight. I'll sleep on the floor if it'll make you more comfortable." 

I dropped my bag and shook my head. "N-no...I don't want to be alone right now." Thomas walked over to me and hugged me tightly. "Okay. I won't let you be alone. I won't let you be alone." 

*Flashback End* 

That...that was the last time I ever called him Tommy. Except for my birthday...I don't- I need to stop. That was in the past, it's the future now, I'm not alone, I have Thomas, friends and, and a boyfriend. 

"Ohhhh, so thaaaat's what happened. Makes sense for why you're like this, mm? So weak. Pathetic. Virgil doesn't deserve a pathetic bitch like you. And Thomas, he certainly doesn't. You deserved what you got. You should just leave. They don't need you."

"N-no...no...y-you're lying..." "Am I? You believe it, don't you? What's the difference?"

"If you believe it, who's to say it isn't true? You know what you are. You know what they think about you. You know that you need to leave, so why don't you?" 

The man crosses over to me and grabs my chin, making me look him in the face. "They're better off without you, and you know it." The man smirked at me as he watched me fall father into repressed memories and feelings, the ones I'd tried so hard to forget. 

"Good, you're remembering who you are. Don't forget it." I barely registered the man leave as I felt myself slipping, finding it hard to focus. I, I needed, something. I, I needed- no, no, we promised yourself we wouldn't do that again, no, we were doing so well- 

"Ahh, but you need it, don't you. So why don't you go ahead and do it? It's not that hard. You know you need it. So take it." 

I heard a sinister voice whisper in my ear, as I shook my head, trying to dispel the thoughts. And on top of that, the gender dysphoria had to hit me like a fucking truck. At this time, of all fucking times. God I couldn't do it, I couldn't do this, I- 

I rushed around my room, frantically trying to change my clothes, my appearance, wiping off the makeup I usually wore, trying to make myself appear like a guy, instead of the female I presented myself as at most times, even if I was feeling masculine. 

I wasn't ready to tell Thomas because I wasn't sure how he would take it, and- uh god no, stop, I'm not doing it again, I'm not- my skin started itching, itching at the usual spot where I'd done it before. Not again. Not again.

I had just managed to put on my male clothes and binded my chest, when I looked to the bathroom. I remember I had scissors in there. I could, I could cut my hair, instead of just stuffing it into a beanie.

I headed to the bathroom, trying to shake the feeling that this wasn't for something else. That I wasn't about to do it again. But I knew I would. I always would.

POV Change- Virgil

"Hey, Virgil? Can you go wake (Y/N) up for breakfast?" Thomas said as I headed out of the kitchen and towards the stairs, heading towards her room. 

It was strange though, usually she was up earlier...with it being around 11 in the morning, cause Thomas just couldn't get his lazy ass out of bed today, we were eating late and I knew she woke up around five a.m., because she was finding it harder to sleep. 

But there was something I couldn't shake, she'd been a bit off since her birthday, which had been three weeks ago now. I was just, I'm worried about her.

I got to her door and knocked, figuring she was awake and maybe editing a video. After knocking a few times and not hearing her respond I just opened the door, maybe she's still asleep.

As soon as I opened her door I saw that she wasn't in her bed, she wasn't even in the room. And her closet door was wide open, with clothes on the floor, thrown about haphazardly, as if she was frantically rushing. 

I turned about the room, trying to see where she could be when I saw the bathroom door was open but kind of closed. Which was weird.

I headed over and opened the door, and I saw (Y/N) sitting on the floor but, she was curled in on herself, clutching herself and facing away from me. "(Y/N)?"

I crossed over to her and I saw her eyes were wide and she was crying, but trying to fight it at the same time, unshed tears in her eyes even as some fell onto her cheeks. 

As I got in front of her I saw that she wasn't clutching herself she was clutching her arm, and- 

"(Y-Y/N)?" I started to panic, noticing she wasn't responding to me and her eyes had a glazed look, as if she wasn't here and she was away from me, even as her eyes would slightly flick over to me. Even as blood stained her hand.

Even as her bl- oh god, fuck she's- "LOGAN!" I screamed for him as I scooched closer to her, wanting to wrap her in my arms but not wanting to scare her. 

All I could do was stare at her, stare as she kept crying and her eyes kept showing that same anguished and fearful expression. 

"Virgil, what's-" I looked up and saw Logan in the doorway, and I knew he could see my face.

"I'll bring her to my room. She needs medical attention. Now." "Wait, I'll, I'll-" But Logan just gave me a look. 

"You are not carrying her in that state. I know you wish to help her, but it would be best if I took care of her for now." I nodded, watching Logan lift her into his arms and how she, how she barely even registered it.

I watched Logan walk out of the room and I noticed a pair of scissors and pieces of hair on the floor, but also blood staining the tile. 

Her blood was on the tile. Goddamnit, I was afraid this would happen, I could tell that she was fighting something and-

"Mm, not happy at the outcome are you?" Deceit, he, why- "Oh, I just talked to her. Convinced her of a little...something." 

I whirled around and saw Deceit leaning against the bathroom door, smiling at me. "What. The fuck. WHAT IN THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?" 

"Simple. She needed to be convinced that she was of no good to you. To any of you. And that she needed to leave." 

"You do not get to decide that! You always, you always fucking push things-"

"Oh, really? As I recall I was not the one to throw myself on someone else." I glared at the fucking snake. "This is not about us Deceit!" 

"OH is it not? I'm so sorry I never meant to cause that implication-" 

I was done with his haughty remarks, his taunting shit. Always, always pushing, always never regarding another's feelings.

I launched myself at him and he landed on the floor of her room, as I bore my teeth at him, fuming.

"Oh really now Virgey? I don't think this is an appropriate place, do you?" "You. Fucking. BITCH." I punched his face, seeing a split lip and a few broken scales. 

While I had a few split knuckles, but it felt good. It felt so good. "Virgil, please, you don't want to hurt me-" 

"STOP SAYING WHAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW ABOUT ME! YOU DON'T KNOW A THING! A GODDAMN THING." I glared at him as his eyes hardened and he got up, shoving me off him. Grabbed me by my shirt and shoved me against the wall. 

"Remember who you're up against, Virgey." He hissed at me. I just smirked. "Oh, I think I do." I grabbed his shoulders and whirled him around, shoving him into the wall. 

"Don't test me Virgil. You know what happens when you piss me off." 

"Oh, really? Like that time I was being a brat and you cuffed me to your bed and left me there for a couple hours? Oh yes, I remember that explicitly. But you should remember something. Know. When you've. Been beaten." 

I snarled at him and kicked my leg into his stomach, hearing him hiss as he bit me on my neck, trying to get me off of him. 

I just chuckled and threw him on the floor, trapping him beneath me, but not before he punched me in the face.

I wiped blood off of my face, cursing his snake-like armor. "That doesn't work that well on me. You know I'm a masochist." 

"Oh, I know. That's why it was fun to mess with you. Especially to bite you, oh how you'd cry out-" 

"Shut. The fuck. UP. WE are not together, and to you, we never were. I was just another toy to you, not a real relationship." 

I watched as his eyes softened. Wait, why did they soften...? "That's not true, Virgey. I see that now. I was in love with you. I just didn't want to see it. But I see that now. I love you." 

A cold sense of dread hit me. "Wait, you...all of this...what you did...what you did to (Y/N)...all of this was to get me back? ALL OF IT??" In my disoriented state Deceit managed to get from under me and gently grab my shoulders, making me look at him. 

"Yes, this was for you. All of it was for you. I just want you to be with me."

"Well we can't, Deceit! You broke that the instant you said those words to me. Do you remember?? When I confessed to you?? You said, you said that "Oh, sweetheart, this was nothing to me. I'm not in love with you. I never was. And you're nothing to me. Just another toy." 

My voice broke as I ended my sentence. WHy, why must I still be-

"I was, I was lying Virgil. You know that I speak in lies when-" "Yes I know, but I didn't think you would do that to me! I didn't- I didn't think you would do that- to me." Deceit's face softened more as he took off his gloves and cupped my face.

"Virgey-" "No. Get away from me." "Virgil, please-" "GET. AWAY!" I screamed at him as he stood up and watched me with a pained expression. 

"Fine. I'll go, Virgey." He disappeared, going to the place only I knew. It used to- I curled myself into a ball as I started to cry, furious at myself. 

Why must I still be upset about this? Why? When he did- when he- I let out a strangled sound as Zero walked over to me, mewing at me. 

I cried as I picked her up and buried my face into her soft fur. Why. Why must I be this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry that I haven't updated in like, well, a fucking month. I just got caught up in school and I've been dealing with mental shit but, I'll try and be better I promise!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. 
> 
> Oh and, I'm genderfluid myself and I wanted to make her a genderfluid character, so, I hope some of you will still read this even though the Reader character isn't cis. 
> 
> I realize I'm probably rambling by now but, I hope you enjoyed, see you all in the next update <3


	20. Chapter 20: I Don't Know What To Call This One So Let's Get To It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Will include discussing gender dysphoria.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: The things that cause the Reader dysphoria or causes them dysphoria the most is based off of my experience, which can be different for every genderfluid or gender non-conforming individual. Same goes with the amount of gender changing, I will base the Reader's genderfluidity off of my own, which is not the same as other genderfluids' experiences, each is unique to the person. I hope this chapter gives you more insight about genderfluidity and gender dysphoria.

POV- Logan

I had just placed her on the couch in my room, after cleaning and dressing the wound on her arm. 

The wound was...well there were several lacerations of varying degrees of length, but not very deep, it was still bleeding from the dermis layer. Luckily the cuts did not go very deep, or else she would likely have more scar tissue once these healed. 

...she already has enough scars, she certainly didn't need anymore.

I debated calling in Virgil to see her, because although I know that he wants to see her, I do not think that would be the best idea for him right now. For either of them. 

Especially since (Y/N) appears to be wearing a binder and, she has her own reasons for doing so, and I don't wish to cause too much stress to her. 

I decided to take her binder off of her, since I learned that sleeping in one is hazardous to the health of those that bind- not taking it off of her with my own hands, that would be crossing a line, as some say. 

Thank Patton I have the ability to bend corporeal space and am fundamentally not an actual human being, so I can take it off of her and put it somewhere else without having to touch her, because I never want to make her afraid- I shake my head free from the thought, and sit by her side until she wakes up.

Time Skip

Which ended up being a couple hours, not that I blamed her. As soon as she woke up, I went over to where she was on the couch as she was trying to take the dressings that covered her arm off. 

She looked up at me as I approached, not entirely realizing where she was, or it seemed, who I was. "(Y/N), it's okay, it's Logan. You're in my room." I gently placed a hand on hers, trying not to cause her more distress. 

"L-Logan wh-what- what-" I watched her eyes shift from an expression of confusion to something else, that sent her eyes smoldering. 

"Logan he- the- the snake man he- what the- what did he do to me what did I do I-" She cut off again as she looked at where she'd tried to take the dressings on her arm. "...oh, I- ....shit, shit, shit no I can't, no, why, why did he- what the fuck!" 

Her eyes were wild, showing her distress as her breathing turned slightly erratic. "(Y/N), (Y/N), it's okay. It's okay."

"No it's not, it's not okay, I did something I promised myself, I promised myself I would, that I would never do-" Her voice cracked as she tried to wrap her arms around herself, a flicker of realization and hesitation running across her face.

"L-Logan, where...where is my-" "It's right here, I took it off of you- n-not with my own hands, I do not wish to invade your personal space- after I learned that it is unsafe to sleep in one. You may have it back if you wish, but I would advise you not to put it back on, you are in distress, which could cause you to have even more breathing difficulty if you put it on." 

(Y/N) let out a relieved sigh upon seeing her binder folded near her, leaning back into the couch. "S-so, wh-who knows...?" "That you did that to yourself?" I glanced at the arm where her wound was, and she nodded. "Only myself and Virgil, he was...the one who found you first. He later called for me...and the one you call "The snake man," I suppose, but that was mostly his intention, I believe." 

"Th-the snake man...who exactly is he, Logan?" I tensed, realizing this was broaching on a subject which Thomas may not want me to follow up on, or any of the others, especially Virgil...but possibly against my better judgement, I decided to tell her. Albeit vaguely, but still tell her who he was.

"The snake man, as you know him, is called Deceit. True to his name, he is essentially the embodiment of lies, and is quite fluent in the speech of lies. Although, contrary to what you may think, we have discovered that he means well, trying to protect those around him, specifically Thomas as he is a part of Thomas, but because of his nature, it is very hard to see it that way."

"That...makes sense...so he caused me to feel this way because he wanted to protect someone...?"

"Yes, or more rather, protect himself. Sometimes it is largely impossible to decipher his motives."

(Y/N) nodded again, looking greatly exhausted with a pondering look in her eyes. "If it's alright I would like to stop talking about him now..." "Of course." I understood from her look that he obviously caused her a large level of discomfort and displacement, sending her through a type of traumatic experience from her past.

"Since you had to take my binder off of me I suppose I should explain why...and why my hair is jagged because I tried to cut it short, heh..." (Y/N) paused to fiddle with her fingers, something I learned that was a common anxious fixation. "I...I'm genderfluid, which, um, I'm not, I-I'm not sure you know what that means, b-but-" She paused to take in a breath, not having met my eyes since she started speaking.

"It's alright, take your time." I gently consoled her, knowing not to touch her, since that would most likely cause her to flinch and possibly trigger something. I knew what the distinct definition of genderfluidity was, but since it can sometimes be different depending on the person, it would be better having her explain.

"Genderfluidity is, the definition of not being one binary gender all of the time so...for instance a genderfluid person could be hyper male or masculine at some points, they could present themself as explicitly male and act explicitly male, or they could be hyper feminine, with the same principle, they could be a certain lets say, percentage of one gender, so they could lean towards masculine or feminine but not explicitly that gender, they could identify as both, and they could identify as neither. The gender or lack thereof that a genderfluid person identifies as is largely based upon their feelings at the time, but it could also be influenced by the kind of people they're around, the situation they're in, th-things like that."

I nodded, looking at her. "And what is genderfluidity to you?"

"F-for me it's the same thing but...it's a way that I can express myself as I am without having limitation, I, I finally have the freedom to express myself as I am but- I'm still having trouble getting used to that and grasping it, so...and I still have a large amount of gender dysphoria, even though I'm a lot better off now than when I was younger, since I have access to a binder and male clothes, but-"

She took in a breath as I looked at her, deciding to ask the question that came to mind. "And would you prefer going by different pronouns than the ones you go by now? Or a different name, perhaps? I understand that gender non-conforming people often do that, as they find it more comfortable for them and they feel more like themselves, like Joan."

(Y/N) nodded at the mention of Thomas's friend Joan, who had become her friend, and I knew she was close to them. "Yeah I...I'm out to Joan actually which, makes it a lot easier, but...y-yes I do, um, pronouns, I mean."

""Alright, which ones do you wish us to use, (Y/N)." "Um...Th-They/Them, please..." I smiled at them, knowing that coming out in any way shape or form, especially asking something like this, can be intimidating. "I'll make sure to use them from now on, and to remember them, too. Do you wish anyone else to know, as in me telling them, or do you want to come out to them about this on your own?"

"I would like to do this myself, and...c-could I see Virgil, please?"

I hesitated, but after seeing the desperation on their face, I relented. "Of course, (Y/N). I'll leave you alone to yourselves." I watch them breathe a sigh of relief as I go out to find V- oh, you enraptured boy. He was asleep curled up against the wall outside my room. 

"Virgil, Virgil wake up. (Y/N) wants to see you." I shake him as he slowly awakes, blinking at me. "I can see her now?" "Yes, you can." I was going to correct him about their pronouns but, that's their right to tell him. So I take him by the arm and let him in my room. "I'll leave you to yourselves. Be gentle about it, though. Still shaken up." He nods as he walks in. 

POV Change- Virgil 

"Princess?" I call out as I walk over to her, seeing her laying on Logan's couch. "H-hey, Virge." I watched as she moved to sit up so I could have room to sit next to her.

"Um, I wanted to, uh, explain myself-" "Hey, hey no its, its okay, I know that Deceit caused it. You don't have to explain what he did to you, that's your private life. You don't have to tell me what happened." 

I watched as she gave me a nervous grin, watching as I sat next to her. "Um, that's, that's not why I wanted to talk to you, I-" She shakily inhaled, which caused me to worry. "I, um, I'm not cisgender, I'm, I'm genderfluid?"

"O-okay, um, what does that mean exactly...? I-I mean I kind of know what it means but not really...?" I looked at her confused, as I had heard the word before but, had never really figured out what it meant. 

"W-well it means, um, that someone who doesn't identify with the gender they were assigned at birth, but their gender, is, well, fluid, and can fluctuate between, u-um, masculine, feminine, both, or neither, depending on how the person feels, or a situation they're in, or it can even change depending on who they are around. Some genderfluids' genders change multiple times in the day, while others could change less. Genderfluids' gender identity can also change in the types of gender intensity, so for instance one day I could be feeling hyper-masculine, which means I could think and feel that I am a boy, and the intensity could go down to feeling masculine but not as strongly, I could feel mostly masculine while feeling a small bit feminine, I could feel a small amount of just one, or I could feel neither at all."

She paused to take in a breath to look at me. "S-so, does that make sense, or do I need to explain more?"

"No it, it makes sense, I think I got it...so a genderfluid person can experience feeling masculine, feminine, both or neither, can feel a strong amount of one gender, can be a mixture of both, can feel a small amount of one gender, can feel neither, and their gender can change multiple times throughout the day, or could change less, could change depending on the situation, or on the people they're around? D-did I get that right?"

"Yeah, you got it, Virge." She smiled at me, but something still seemed strained about it. "What's wrong?" "W-well...do you know what gender dysphoria is, Virge?" "Yeah, I think I do?"

"Do you want me to explain it to you?" "Yeah, that would be great, thanks."

"O-okay, so, um...sorry this is just, kind of hard to explain? And, it might cause me more dysphoria explaining this but like, here we fucking go...u-um, gender dysphoria is when the gender you feel and know that you are, mentally and emotionally, is different than the one that you are biologically, so for instance when I experience gender dysphoria, especially when I'm hyper-masculine, the thing that will cause me the most dysphoria is my breasts, so I'll use a binder to make my chest appear more masculine looking, and it'll make me feel a lot better, but wearing a binder can sometimes be dangerous, because you can't wear it for long periods of time, only up to eight hours is the best, you can't sleep in it, a lot of other things, rambling, sorry."

"But uh, my hair length can also cause me dysphoria is well, which is why I tried to cut my hair and why my hair looks like this...and even my voice, posture or handwriting can cause dysphoria, so those times I like to lower my voice, sit more masculine like, which feels awesome, and I'll also wear male clothing because it makes me feel better about myself and I feel more, well, myself, in those moments."

I watch as she slowly sinks further into herself as she's explaining this to me, with an expression of fear on her face- oh. She doesn't think I'll understand or accept her, does she?

"Hey, hey (Y/N), it's okay. Thank you for telling me all of this, I really appreciate it and feel a lot more informed now, thank you. I'll definitely do a lot more research on my own because I want to help you and I want to understand. You're really important to me and I want you to feel like yourself around me and not feel that you have to hide who you are from me. And if there are some things you don't want to talk about that's okay, but I'll be here to listen to you if you need it, okay?"

I watch her nod next to me as I think about holding her hand but I think better of it, as I don't think she wants to be touched right now. "Is there other pronouns you wish to go by? Or a name that feels more like you?"

"Um, I-I'd like to use They/Them, and for the name, n-no, I don't think so...but, um...could you maybe use more gender neutral nicknames for me? And, also don't call me your girlfriend anymore b-but like, call me your partner or, s-something? I-It's okay to call me more gendered nicknames sometimes, but that'll probably depend on how I feel, so I'll just, l-let you know on, that..."

I nodded, reminding myself to remember all of this, and maybe write it down if I needed to. "Of course baby. Is there anything else?"

"U-um, just hold me, please? But um, Logan had to take my binder off of me so, like..." They wave their hands around in nervousness as I finally get what they're referring to, after being a dumbass for two minutes.

"O-oh. OH. Oh, um, o-okay, uhhh...y-you still want me to hold you?" My face heats up, which I'm sure they find adorable, and I'd find their blushing face adorable as well if it wasn't for my fucking flusteredness.

"Um, y-yeah...as long as you're okay with it? I don't want to overwhelm you or make you do anything you don't want to do or make you feel like you need to move too quickly.." They pause, looking down, and I reach for their hand and hold it in mine.

"It's okay with me baby." They smile a bit and I let them get up off the couch while I lay back, let them get on top of me and situate themselves in my arms.

"Um, I just wanted to say th-thank you...for listening to me and accepting me and not pushing me away, and-" "No problem baby." I run my hands through their hair as they sigh and let themselves fall asleep, pulling me along with them soon after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about the long wait for the next update, and I wish I could say they will come more often, but with the impact of COVID, and how much work I've already gotten from my high school/AP classes, including the ongoing schedule for my online college classes, it probably won't come as quickly as you may hope, and for that I apologize, and will try to do better. Thank you all for still reading this, it means a lot to me. <3


	21. Author's Note: IMPORTANT- Please Read Has To Do With New Sanders Sides Video Update

Hi guys, so I just recently heard about the new Sanders Sides video update that Thomas posted today, of which I heard it from BitKahuna. Kahuna told me that a lot of new information about Deceit (including his name) has been revealed on the video, which I haven't watched yet. Hearing about this however leaves me unsure about how to continue writing this fanfiction, because before I learned of this update I had been working on two new chapters, and had a general idea of where I wanted the story to go from here and what I wanted it to look like, including Deceit's characterization.

But based on what I might find in the video, however, I might have to scrap a lot of what I've been working on, or try to reshape the information into the chapters I've been working on, which hopefully can be done. So I've come here to warn you in case I do something like turn this into an AU if I think I don't think I can work the information I find into my chapters and arc, especially since this fanfiction was posted a long time before the Sanders Sides video update. 

I've also come to warn you that because of this new video, what I've already written in terms of new chapters and my idea for the continuation of the story, there will most likely be a very long wait for a new chapter update, as I have no idea what I'm really going to find or what I'm going to do. I also still have my online college and AP exams to do, which might cause an even longer wait. 

I am so very sorry to throw this at you as I know some of you had expressed wanting a new update, especially since this might cause a very long wait, but I hope you'll still stick with me and I will try as hard as I can to get the next update up ASAP. 

Also, I wish to acknowledge that some readers who might come and read this fanfic after this video update might talk about how I have made Deceit's characterization isn't canon, but to those I wish to say that I did not know of this until literally a few minutes ago, and that this fanfiction was published back in September of 2019. (Oh god it's really been that long?) Anyway, once I know what I've decided to do I will post another author's note, or a new chapter with notes at the top detailing what's going to happen, or maybe even both I have no idea.

Please, please try to bear with me and I will try the hardest I possibly can to figure out what I'm going to be doing with this, I can't believe so many of you thought it so worthwhile to read my work, I can't thank you enough for that and I love you all so much, you all really make my day.

I'm going to go and watch the new video and take a lot of notes on it, I love you all and I hope you all are okay, trying to be safe and that you're trying to be okay while in quarantine. Thank you so much guys I really can't express this enough, I'm going to stop my rambling here. I love you all! <3 <3 


	22. Author’s Note: Hiatus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Pride everyone!!

Hello everyone, I unfortunately have to declare a hiatus for both my fanfictions for a number of reasons, mainly because of writers block due to world building/character building, where to go with the plots, adding in depth relationships and characters whether they be cannon or not, and etc. 

Another issue I am having with this fanfiction is that I recently finally realized that I am a non-binary trans boy, which leads me to a dilemma of how to write the reader character. 

I could continue writing them as genderfluid, which I would gladly do if that is what you all want me to do, but I fear if I do that and I write the character when they feel they are a girl some days, as I would write them that way, I fear if I do that it would cause more dysphoria for me because, I am still in the closet at my house and if my parents knew what I am their disapproval would be an understatement (I’m not in college yet and am still living with them). 

Or I could write the character as a non-binary trans boy but that would lead to another coming out, of which I feel like if I do that, and write the character as an enby trans boy it might be too much, and it would feel like I am, well, I guess stealing the character from you all. 

So I am at a crossroads here, and would greatly appreciate your thoughts on what you think I should do. I will take all of your comments into consideration and update you on what I’ve decided. Stay safe everyone, those going to protests please be careful, and a Happy Pride to all. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3


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